In Defense Of Cats

Notes from a dog person.

I’ve never really cared much for cats.The typical cat’s standoffish attitude bothers me. Along with their ability to jump anywhere they please and tear up your place and belongings.

It was in the early 90’s my hatred of cats really blossomed when I went to visit my sister in law  on Plum Island, MA. On one of my rare trips away from home sans children I was prepared to stay up too late, drink too much wine, go to bed alone, read until I could no longer hold my eyes open and get up whenever I damn well pleased.

The setting was a small  ocean front beach house (even if it was off season).All went pretty much according to plan. We did as we pleased and gloried in having a weekend without any babies, children or men around.

Then there was her cat. I was determined to block his presence out of my mind. I remember him as a nasty old tom cat. I think his name was Topaz.  I don’t really remember what he looked like but what I clearly remember is his urinating all over the clothes in my suitcase which I had left open on the bed. That pungent smell is pretty hard to forget.

To make it worse, my dear sister in law was a denier. As she held him in her arms, stroking him, “Oh no, I can’t believe Topaz would do that. He’s never done that before”.  He turned his head to gaze into the eyes of his accuser as if saying, “take that bitch”.

The war between me and her stinking cat was on. I tried to ignore him the rest of the visit but if he bugged me I’ll admit I took some perverse pleasure in shoving him out of the way with more vigor than necessary. He received  a fair share of having his ass booted under the table as I sipped my tea and smiled up top.

My bias against cats had been solidified. I had successfully deflected all pleas for a kitten of their own from my many daughters, who could otherwise talk me into pretty much anything. “Absolutely not. They are disgusting”.

Flash forward a decade. We had moved to Texas and things were not going smoothly. My youngest daughter can be quite persistent and using every ounce of emotional capital she could muster she wore me down. Now that I am old it is easier to do. She had found out about a program through Austin Pets Alive where she could foster kittens until they were old enough to be adopted and she was determined to participate.

We got the call last May, we were supposed to pick up 2 kittens, about 4 weeks old and care for them for 2-4 weeks then return them to the adoption center. OK. I was emphatic, “we are NOT keeping any”.

We arrived at the center and were given instructions  on how to care for these little “gruel babies”. Instead of 2, there were actually 4 waiting for us to pick them up. Holy mother, how do I allow myself to be roped into these situations?

We got home and opened the crate door. Inside were 4 scrawny, weary 4 week old kitties. There were two brothers for one litter, and a brother and sister from another litter. We devoted 1 bathroom as their nursery. Their care consisted of being fed 4 times a day. We were to provide some dry kitten food, water and gruel ( a mixture of canned kitten food, heated up with water ) and some medication.

Igor weighing in

To make sure they were all gaining weight, we had to weigh them morning and night on my kitchen scale. The smallest kitten, the only female was particularly vulnerable. We were to call if she lost more than 10 grams.

We weren’t at all sure how our 130 pound dog was going to take to them. These creatures were so tiny he could have probably swallowed them whole if he took a notion to gobble one up. We tried to keep them separated but a few times when he wandered into kitten land he didn’t seem to have much interest in them. Our theory was he instinctively knew they were babies.

I had to keep reminding myself how much I hated cats as we cared for these little guys. After training up many puppies over the years I was amazed how these itty bitty kitties just “knew” how to step into the little make shift litter box to go potty. They even scratched the litter over their own little mess before exiting the box.

They weren’t very happy about being still enough to be weighed. I decided to use a tupperware bowl on top of the kitchen scale to keep them put long enough. We fretted over the smallest 2 not gaining weight consistently. I kept saying, “ I don’t know nothing about raising no cats”. But as a OB nurse and mother of 6 I knew about human babies.

Hailey carrying Veruca

We fed the smallest kitty separately, so the others could not push her out of the way or bully her. Then I took to carrying her around a lot. Sometimes we’d tuck her in our big sweatshirt pockets. The rest of the family teased me when they saw the pictures on facebook. “Oh, what happened to the woman who hated cats”? All that I can say in my defense is I had to get this kitten to gain some weight.

Morning armful of kittens

Well the weeks went by and the little fur balls proved to be quite entertaining. They climbed, they grew, they chased, they slept curled up with each other or any other warm body who sat still long enough. Despite my bigoted ideology against cats in general, they all developed distinct personalities. Igor was the big lug but very pretty.  Mr Wilson was the independent and intellectual type. Victor was just plain sweet, cuddly and adventurous. Then there was Veruca (her name from the shelter) We tried on a new name every week for her. Peanut, Oprah, Sookie and Precious. We were pretty sure she was a special needs kitten.

After we had them 4 weeks, I realized that when the doorbell rang they often beat the dogs to greet who ever was at our door. Now that is saying something considering they were about 800 grams and my big dog was 130 pounds. I started placing Craigslist and local ads to find homes for them. I now couldn’t imagine taking the babies, I mean kitties back to the shelter. We likened it to taking your foster baby back to fend for itself in a crowded orphanage.

Especially not my baby kitty, the one I drug around with me all day until she was big and strong enough to fend for herself.  School ended in June and we prepared for a summer long road trip. There was a lot of fretting over what we could do with the 2 kittens who still didn’t have homes. Keeping more than one was way out of the question, did you ever see how much cat pooh multiple kittens can produce each day?

Finally the day came when we had to follow through on our arrangement to take the 2 brothers to another foster home. I claimed to be too busy to take them myself. I made my 19 year old drive them over there...I don’t like big scenes. The girls returned home with long faces.

We picked up Veruca and Victor from the infirmary at Austin Pets Alive after they were neutered and spayed and officially adopted. Veruca was ours to keep and Victor was headed for Chicago to live as a big city cat with my daughter and son there.

In spite of dire warnings from cat people, we set out on our 7000 mile summer road trip with Veruca and Victor in tow. Our first stop was Chicago to drop Victor off to his new place. Veruca spent the summer there with her brother while we traveled from state to state.

There, now I have spilled the beans on the cat thing. I don’t want to hear any more blather about it. I'll baby talk to the cat if I want. I'd like to put an end to the speculation that I've gotten so attached to this dumb cat due to the lack of a grandbaby. FYI:I can wait.

I love my kitty, but that doesn’t mean I’ve turned into a cat person.

Snuggling with her brother during a recent visit

Farewell

Written in honor of Mr. Jack McDonald

1925-2011

It was a Thursday evening in August when the Nault invasion commenced. We were busy being charmed by the shady narrow streets  while looking for the Inn At Court Square. I spotted the small gang of McDonalds waving us up to the porch where they awaited our arrival. It was a great welcome and good start to a laid back visit to a place I’d never been, but with people who I’ve long been endeared to.

Kay and I have been friends since junior high school but my first McDonald encounter occurred at the Garden City Pool. I was 5 and Mrs. McDonald, the woman who has become a nationally renowned swimming coach, reached down and yanked me out of the water by my swim suit and lectured me on water safety. The woman is, and always has been formidible.

Kay has proven to be a life long bosom buddy although we lost touch with each other for a good long while. Back in June, she issued a casual invite for me to swing by Virginia to see her and her family. I’m not sure if she thought I’d really take her up on it but let that be a lesson in don’t say things you don’t mean.

Dylan, Sydney & Kay, Charlottesville

Although I had not seen Mr & Mrs McDonald since they moved from Union Lake, Jack embraced our visit with great gusto and wormed his way into my 2 teenage daughters hearts. I loved the way he interacted with them, always the teacher. They may not have realized it at the time, but they were definitely being schooled.

Like many old timers, as my dad likes to call himself, you could see he had gotten set in his ways. I’m old enough to appreciate that. Jack was truly a life long intellectual explorer who loved to share his knowledge. Not in a boorish way, he was inquisitive and interested in the places my life had taken me since I had last seen him.

We discussed old times, Garden City, the families we were both so proud of. I was an intent listener as he bragged about his wife, his kids and grandchildren. I encouraged him to update his musical repertoire with some Beatles. He was fascinated by my new  talents related to blogging and social media. We exchanged our “contact info” and he wondered if I could give him some advice on setting up his own blog.

Let's go!

We all spent our last evening in Charlottesville attending a Charlottesville Ladies Arm Wrestling fundraiser. Our whole group, ranging from young to old made our way out into the hot, steamy night, to see some pretty theatrical arm wrestling. It was crowded and sticky in the tent but we laughed our way through it.

attending CLAW

Returning back to the condo, one arm wrestling challenge led to another and before we knew it we had Lois demonstrating her supreme arm wrestling coaching skills while we enjoyed some blueberry pie.

Dylan & Lois wrestle it out (Lois won)

I hope I’m still having that much fun participating in new experiences when I’m in my eighties.

Upon our return to Austin, Jack was true to his word, following up with me by email, reading my stories and offering me some ego boosting feedback. I sent him pictures of their former house in Garden City, a place where I had spent a lot of time in my teenage years. Swimming in their backyard pool I learned a perfect breast stroke, but never managed the simplest synchronized swimming move.

Before Kay notified me of her father’s unexpected passing, I had been plotting how I could eek out another invite next summer and time my visit to coincide with Jack and  Lois’s travel. I am saddened by the reality of how that won’t be possible now.

Last summer, I could have made a hundred excuses to bypass Virginia and  to go straight to Asheville to see my dad. I could have rationalized that I could do the trip next summer when we weren’t so worn out. Having already driven close to 6000 miles on the summer road trip, our itinerant lifestyle was beginning to wear on all of us.

Today, I am so thankful I followed my gut and drove the extra miles to visit Kay, Leslie, Candace, Lois and Jack in Charlottesville this past summer. It leaves me with a very special memory I would have otherwise missed out on.

John (Jack) McDonald

1925-2011

Intellectual motivator

Entertainer

Educator

Husband

Father

Grandfather

Freind

Is Justin Timberlake The New Take Home Chef?

Jordan asked Justin Timberlake to show her a certain dance move from his Like I Love You music video. She had a big presentation to a financial institution she was preparing for and she was sure if she busted out a move it would sell her investment strategy. She was dressed for a run in a t-shirt, shorts and her new Heidi Klum shoes.

In reality, my oldest daughter Jordan does maintain a pretty rigorous work out schedule including running. Holding a Principal position at a major consulting firm she often leads presentations to companies who have large investment portfolios. If she really busted out a move during one it would probably be the first time in the history of the corporate boardroom.

 She inquired of JT, how do you do that thing with your feet? JT, who was sitting in the yard by her, reached over and moved her feet with his hands to demonstrate.He turned to my son, Michael and said, "do you have that song?" Michael scrolled through the iTunes a put on something similar, but not by JT.

I turned and shot him the death stare which was really non verbal communication for: “Justin Timberlake is here in our yard and you put on a sound alike? Put on one of my JT cd’s”.

The smell of smoke drifted through our yard and JT said, “ I feel like ribs. I make great ribs. If I can borrow your car I’ll run to the grocery and get some cooking supplies.” I handed the keys to my freshly waxed 2011 Ford Edge. I wanted to ask him if he wanted me to tag along but I didn’t.

He started the car. I came out to show him how to work “my Ford Touch” but I couldn’t find him. Then I heard the car driving down the street with the music blaring, so I guessed he figured it out on his own.

Then we realized we needed baking potatoes. I wanted to call or send a text but what normal person had Justin’s cell phone number?

Then I thought of a very gifted child hood schoolmate, Louis Resto. He’s got a Grammy and an Oscar for his song writing with and for Eminem, surely he has JT’s number.No answer.

In reality, I am a huge Justin Timberlake fan. I do own a 2011 Ford Edge. I did go to school in Garden City and was a friend of Luis Resto's big brother Mario. Their whole family was quite musical and have made successful careers for themselves and still live in the Detroit area. I just remember Luis as Mario's little bro who got shooed away when the big kids were hanging out.

Where is Curtis Stone, The Take Home Chef when you need him? So I got in the other car, thinking I would go get the potatoes myself. Driving out of the subdivision I spotted black smoke billowing in the sky from a wildfire. The further I drove I noted several small fires around.

I should have been freaked out, given the recent wildfire disasters this season. But I reasoned that since it was not a windy day the likely hood of the fires growing out of control was slim. Then I saw flying embers landing on lawns and  scantily dressed people were running around quickly stomping them out.

In reality, this Midwestern girl has been officially freaked out by the recent wildfires in Austin. I've gotten way more up close and personal with the phenomenon than I ever planned. Fire period has always scared me. I don't even like to light matches. During the fires we experienced in this hellishly hot, drought ridden state I felt like the whole place could burst into flames with the slightest provocation.

Realizing my family was at home with no vehicles (I had one, Justin had the other) I decided  to turn around to make my way home, in case we were evacuated again.  Just then I came upon a couple of baby deer all snuggled beside the road sleeping like a bunch of curled up cats, exhausted from running from the small fires.

When I got home the van lines was parked across the driveway, loading up.

Now doesn’t that just figure!? A moving truck is loading up all of our household belongings. Meanwhile Justin Timberlake is on his way back to my house with ribs to barbecue just when Michael got the right CD playing. Don't load that Weber grill, what ever you do.

The only way this impromptu dinner party could get any more complicated is if those spotty wildfires flare up and merge and head towards the whole kitten caboodle.

Back in the day we called that Dream Weaving, made famous by then (1970's) foxy Gary Wright. No market grabbing name change for this guy, there were just too many musical "Garys" in that era. Not to be confused with my 8th grade boyfriend, Gary DiGeorgio.

In reality, I'm not sure why my older kids were in my dream about Austin, since they live in Chicago. I do know I desperately miss them at times since we moved far far away.

I have no idea why Justin Timberlake happens to be in my yard, or where the car he must have came in is. This is Austin after all, not NYC. He couldn't have taken the subway.

I have seen deer curled up like kittens sleeping by the road, but that would have been in Northern Michigan on a lakeside road.

And believe me when I say I'd love for the Justin Timberlake to come show my buttoned up business daughter a few moves she could bust out during a board meeting and get the  corporate investing community buzzing.

I have no doubt JT knows a little something about serving up great ribs since opening Southern Hospitality in his hometown of Memphis, Tennessee.

In reality, I don't usually remember dreams, and have no idea what dream interpretation really means. I can see how all of the things floating around my brain mix together to make a pretty disjointed  but fun story.

At least I didn't wake up on Dexters table getting all Dexterized.

Move Over FEMA...There's A New Kid In Town

And it’s called Social Media...

Before the first FEMA (Federal Emergency Management Agency) boots hit the ground in Texas, during the wildfire crisis, Facebook was there. Along with the use of personal technology, Twitter and various forms of Social Media.

Sunday, September 4th the neighborhood in which we live now (roughly 4000 homes) was evacuated due to a wildfire that was swept from the other side of a major highway by the high winds we were experiencing. Combine that with the record setting drought, it became a season of devastating fires in Texas.

It was jolting and bewildering for a Midwesterner. But I became an eyewitness to an amazing effort of self preservation and neighbor taking care of neighbor made possible through Facebook. Our neighborhood, Steiner Ranch, already had it’s own Facebook page that many of the residents were familiar with.

What was really striking was how the “Social Committee” page quickly became utilized for emergency relief during a crisis. By being able to gather information via the boots on the ground and relay them to the residents at large in “real time”, a highly effective community effort was launched to meet the practical needs of thousands of people who had been scattered due to the massive evacuation.

Yes, many of us were monitoring the local news stations for updates. Soon it became apparent that the networking being done via Twitter and Facebook proved to be more up to the minute than the news media or government could ever be. Within hours of the evacuation, community organizations and local churches began mobilizing resources to lend assistance.

This is not an effort to knock any of our first responders, the fire department, the sheriff’s department who all worked heroically to deal with a wildfire that was so out of control. They were amazing. Sadly,one constable lost his life in the effort. To complicate their efforts further, there was a limited water supply available to fight the fire in this drought parched region.

There were multiple fires within a 25 mile radius of Austin that had basically ignited that afternoon and were spread by the extreme hot, dry winds. Local resources were stretched very thin. Although the Steiner Ranch fire ended up destroying roughly 25 homes, and damaging another 30, the fires that burned in nearby towns were far worse.

The next day, Monday (Labor Day) the fire was 0 % contained but firefighters were able to divert the flames from spreading to more homes. The green space (maybe I should say brown space) still burned acre after acre and proved to be unpredictable.

As told by several news agencies, one resident borrowed a bike and made his ways via trails with his phone and camera, into the effected parts of the large housing development to survey what was really happening. He rode street by street documenting homes that had been destroyed, those that had sustained damage and those in direct peril should the fire head back towards more homes.

Working in tandem with his neighbor who was waiting with his computer, Google maps, and our Facebook page open the men collected data and began sharing it. One was “the eyes” the other the “keyboard”.

And the information, video and pictures were eerie and shocking while at the same time comforting to the majority of residents whose homes were being kept safe by the firefighters. It was definitely surreal seeing live video of a cul-de-sac where some homes were destroyed while others were actively on fire and there were no emergency  vehicles  in sight (because they were busy holding the fire-line from spreading to the next street).

Of course, the FB page was not considered an “official” source for information. People could comment freely, give their opinions, ideas and submit requests. Not every single bit of information was vetted before folks “shared” it but overall, it worked.

The Red Cross volunteers quickly set up the closest high school as an emergency shelter. The ability of our local community to identify and address many concerns through technology meant that some government resources could be diverted to harder hit areas where fires were more widespread.

Because the fires occurred on a holiday weekend a number of residents were not at home when the evacuation occurred and barred from entering when they arrived. Some pets were in homes now left unattended.

There was simply no way that local and even state agencies could address these urgent needs. As heartbreaking as some of the situations were the local officials had to work on a priority basis and getting the fire under control was clearly their number one.

Neighbor to neighbor care blossomed in the midst of this emergency, much of it facilitated through Facebook. Needs and concerns were shared, those who had any power to meet them did. Sometimes that meant an emergency worker, in contact with a neighborhood liaison, would break a window to bring out a stranded dog. But it worked. Like a charm.

By Tuesday morning, most of the residents whose homes were directly affected already knew what to expect. Our Facebook page shifted into another gear and began letting the rest of the community know the ongoing needs of not only residents, but of the firefighters themselves.

Chain saws, tools, food, gatorade, water, eye drops and a host of other supplies appeared at staging centers for the emergency workers. They only had to express a need and it was met. A few local residents even went to firefighters homes to feed and care for their pets when they were unable to return home during their brief rest periods.

Some 3500 residents were following all of this in “real time”. The generosity of nearby communities were showered upon our neighborhood. The same day residents were allowed to return, local church groups drove the neighborhoods and knocked on doors with offers of hot meals, man power, offers to collect and dispose of food that had spoiled while the power was out.

It was a humbling thing to observe. It gave us an appreciation of how generous our fellow man can be. The community at large didn’t wait for an agency to come in and take care of them. Through initiative, we were all able to express our collective needs and participate in helping our neighbor.

Our local firehouse was so overwhelmed with donations, food, supplies they had to issue of plea for people to stop bringing them stuff. They had no more room to store it! Within a few days the overflow of donated items began being diverted to nearby localities where the destruction and damage was much more widespread.

I realize that this story is emminating from a relatively affluent neighborhood. We have a plethora of highly educated, technology savvy individuals who are used to taking charge. It’s much more realistic to be able to respond when you have the resources and experience to do so. Many communities with different levels of socio-economics may not have the resources available that I saw in action here.

We may have left our homes with 15 minutes notice bringing what we could throw in our car, but most of us had the luxury of credit cards in our pockets. I realize in that is not always the case. But everyone has the opportunity to be generous with whatever resources they do have.

It’s a mindset, or maybe a heart set and not necessarily how much credit you have or what your bank account balance is.

There are some strong opinions out there regarding Facebook. I have been told, quite sanctimoniously by some that “I’m not on Facebook, I don’t have time for games or talking to people whose phone numbers I don’t have”. It kind of reminds me when popular actors go on Oprah and make comments like, “ oh, I don’t watch television, I am always occupied with my craft”.

I utilize FB to expand my world, keep in touch with people I care about and that is my choice. The thing you should know, is you don’t have to be on FB to make use of it. Many communities, companies and organizations have Facebook pages that can be accessed by the public. Even without having a personal account.

I am thinking there are more than a few of my fellow residents who learned exactly how this all works during our recent crisis. They too may have never have been on Facebook before our fire, but have quickly found out it’s a powerful tool whose time is here.
 

The Whole Enchilada

Yesterday I was grocery shopping and I thought, 31 years ago today I was waddling around Hudson's baby department with my mom and Aunt Pat and my water broke. Even though I was a Labor & Delivery nurse at the time I didn't know what it all really felt like. I had a lot more compassion when I returned to work 4 months later.

Jordan, 7 hours old

31 years ago today, when I thought it was never going to be over, I squatted beside my hospital bed and felt her head woosh down. Five minutes later I was looking into the face of a baby that looked like an Asian to me, chubby cheeks and a head full of dark hair. I thought "that can't be my baby".

I was expecting a fair skinned, blond and bald baby. That's what the babies in my family tend to look like. I looked at my husband, my high school sweet heart and thought he looked like he was in total shock. He looked at me and choked out the words, "we can name her whatever you want". What a man.

We had been debating names for months. He liked Kristen for a girl. I wanted Jordan, inspired by a female character in  the F Scott Fitzgerald book The Great Gatsby. I liked that it was unusual and gender neutral. I liked the idea that as an adult that people would see her name as an author, or on a resume and not be able to know her sex. Jordan Warren Nault. Warren being my maiden name.

The first clue that this could be problematic was when her birth certificate arrived and identified her as "male". In this mornings birthday email I said:

 HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY GIRL.

Your Dad wanted to name you Kristen. How heinous my anus would that have been. It wouldn't have fit you at all. That would have been so pedestrian and run of the mill, which we all know you are not.

Enjoy your last hour of only being 30, because technically you won't be 31 until 11:40 a.m.

Love you like CRAZY.  Mom

**************

Jordan and her favorite person

It didn't take long to realize that Jordan and her grandma were soul mates. I went back to work and my mom did a lot of Jordan raising for the first 5 years. Pretty much a day didn't go by that Jordan didn't spend time with Bette. Jordan did everything early: she walked, she talked, she sang, she acted, she potty trained, learned her letters, colors, numbers all at an amazing rate. It was all my mom.

When she was 4, I came home from work and my mom said she'd been watching a program on gifted children on TV. She said, " Jordan can do all the things those children they had on that program could do, and they were all older than her"!  OK mom.

The next day I was reading the notes (upside down) the pediatrician was writing and it said: smart, sassy, precocious 4 year old with a remarkable vocabulary. Identified and spelled colors. Spelled all family members names....

Looking back at the past 31 years, I'd have to say my mother was exactly right. If we overlook a small period of her life when she devoted a lot of time to....cheer leading, she's had a brilliant run so far.

In high school I begged and bribed her to join the basketball team. Her response: "mom, my gift is in academics". She went to high school with some awfully smart people, and she graduated #3 in her class (tied with her 2 best friends).

At the University of Michigan she excelled while testing her new freedoms from her conservative family. I said,"you are smart enough to achieve anything you want to. But please major in something practical, that will make you employable".

She insisted on majoring in something she had a passion for. That was Russian & Eastern European Studies which included living in Russia in 2001. She performed very well and graduated in the top of her class. But, I was right, despite all of that she had a hard time translating that into a career.

It turns out that Jordan was also gifted in some other areas. Ambition, determination, humility and a willingness to work hard and think outside of the box. She proved herself right, in that she took her education and molded it to equip herself for a brilliant business career.

Her current employer, after only one year in New York decided she was worth investing in. Once she got herself accepted into several of the top MBA programs, they moved her kit and caboodle to Chicago to attend University of Chicago Booth School of Business.

Jordan & her stuffy company mentors at her recent graduation party

For the first time in her life she didn't graduate at the top of her class. As a matter of fact U of C's Booth School of Business kicked her ass. It was the first educational venue that wasn't a piece of cake for her. She was in a program with some of the most brilliant quantitative minds around.

But, here's the thing that doesn't show up on her credentials. She is the whole enchilada. What she has that many of her peers don't is life experience that was vast. A grandmother who thought she was the smartest thing as sliced bread. The oldest child of 6, who's spent her fair share of time caring for babies, dealing with stubborn toddlers, to handling freak-outs from her now teenage sisters.Living in Russia, traveling Europe, making mistakes, surviving several personal and family crisis, excelling in the workplace.

There were many of her peers in grad school who could run circles around her academically, but Jordan can walk into a real world business situation and rule. She can articulate her ideas with grace, charm stuffy heads of investment funds who give her gruff. She can implement all the things she's learned from life, her family, her friends and her educational opportunities and succeed.

Oh, and lest I forget her secret weapon:

Jordan, with Hailey, Dylan & Sydney

Which is: Power Puff Power