Missing: My Christmas Mojo
Thursday, December 11, 2008 at 08:05PM 
My prodigy have asked if I am boycotting Christmas. I told them I am trying a less is more approach this year. Yeah, a definite minimalist interpretation. I have slowly drug up a few tote boxes from the basement and unenthusiastically set up a few decorations. I’m off schedule for my Christmas preparations and it’s bothering me, but not enough to motivate me to get the job done. Cruising some of my favorite bloggers as they strut their Santa decor and discourse on scoring the perfect gifts is further adding to my feelings of inferiority.
I’m not really into Santas, or the collections there of. We eliminated the Santa mystique early on in the kids lives. The minute they asked if Santa were real I told them the truth. I never wanted them to think believing in Santa or the Easter Bunny was on par with a belief in God and the baby Jesus’ birth (you know the true reason for the season). We all agreed to play along with pretending there is a Santa game for the fun of it though.
The only problem with that philosophy is the more kids we had the younger the age got at which they were given access to the Mayor’s freedom of information act regarding Santa and his reindeers. Before our 6th child was in preschool her precocious sister in 3rd grade is telling her why we aren’t going to wait in the long line to see Santa at the mall. “You know he’s not real anyway”. At which point my 3rd grader’s friend who was standing in line with us started shrieking, “what do you mean Santa isn’t real”? Her mom’s phone call that night was not a pleasant holiday memory for me. Some parents are REALLY INTO THE MAGIC OF CHRISTMAS and the uber-consumerism of the season. (I often wonder if the kids I’ve seen arrive at college not knowing how to do laundry or fry an egg came from those kinds of families)?
I’ve also gotten myself into some trouble for not being really sappy about the crafts and art projects brought home by all my little darlings. With a large family it is just not possible to hang onto and display every ornament or trinket ever made. You know how on the last day of school before Christmas vacation, you trot yourself in to the classroom party and tote home a shopping bag full of end of the semester stuff? One year I brought home the obligatory bag and deposited it in a closet since we were all leaving in the morning to fly to Texas for Christmas with some family in Houston.
2 weeks later when all of the festivities were over I came across the bag and sorted through it. It contained not one, but two of the most butt ugly ornaments made by my daughter at school, basically their badly photocopied school picture glued onto a wad of cotton with a ribbon (neither of the pictures were the least bit flattering of my usually photogenic child). It didn’t make the cut so into the trash it went. In my defense there were a few items that I actually did save out of the bag, like snowflake cutouts, I really liked the sparkly ones and hung them in the windows facing the lake.
When school resumed the teacher said, “by any chance did Sarah’s butt ugly precious ornament end up in Princess # 4’s bag”? Ut oh. That explains why I threw out 2 of the butt uglies as opposed to just one. I endured another unpleasant phone conversation that evening from Sarah’s mother, who has given me the stink eye every time I’ve encountered her ever since. Seems she has not found it in her to forgive me for throwing out that lovely scrap of memorabilia even though I sincerely apologized .
I persuaded a couple of manly men I found roaming around here to haul up my 2 pre-lit artificial trees yesterday. I’m not showing you a picture of them because they’re a bit on the pathetic side. I have such a hateful relationship with Christmas trees because I absolutely loathe dealing with the lights. I’ve had more than a few encounters where I’ve gotten the tree all decorated only to have a third of the buried light strings short out. The living room would be complete if I were not indulging myself in a hissy fit over tree lights. I’d like to just send the tree back to the cellar, that’s how much I don’t want to go buy new lights and weave them into where the strings are shorted out. So for now we will go with the minimalist wreath in the window motif.
I come by this ambivalence honestly. My mother loved all things modern and we had a really cool aluminum tree with a rotating color light at the bottom. I envied my aunts with their fragrant real trees and traditional decorations. Back then I rejected my mama’s contemporary trendiness but now I kind of wish I still had that tree as I’ve developed a new appreciation for it. I’ve even discovered there is a Vintage Aluminum Tree Museum in Asheville, NC, my home away from home city. The closest thing I have to that vintage aluminum tree is this flocked wreath with white and colored lights. I know, it’s not really a close approximation at all!
I wish it hadn’t snowed so early this year because I did not get my lights put up outside. I’m not particularly fond of that job either but there is something nice about pulling into the driveway at night with some sparkly lights twinkling in the bushes. Sometimes I’ve done the luminaries lined up along the walkway to the front porch on Christmas Eve. I could bring that holiday vestige back this year. Capitol idea! I think I will delegate that task to several of the well known freeloaders here.
Meanwhile, you think our big black watch bear could give me a little cooperation for the holidays. After all I put up with his 130 pounds of stink year round. I asked the Black Bearded Bastard, “ please just wear this lovely holiday bow for a couple of pictures, I’ll give you a treat”. He promptly gave me the canine version of the stink eye which said, “ do I look like some googly eyed Pug to you???Maybe you should have gotten yourself a little black circus Poodle instead”. I threatened to call Cesar and he decided to let me have my way for about 2 minutes.
To sum it all up, I’m not a “Merry Christmas” greeting type person, I am more of a “Wise Men Still Seek Him” type of person. I love the holidays for the religious and social aspect of it.The most heart warming part of the holidays is just the opportunity it lends us to visit with family and friends with the extra time off from work and school. We plan several big get togethers (think Thanksgiving with Christmas decor, peppermint martinis, cream puffs with peppermint ice cream and homemade fudge sauce). All of our extended family have agreed we would really like to plan a holiday on a cruise or somewhere very warm with a beach sometime soon. It looks like we will all have to wait for better economic times to do a tropical Christmas, so I guess the most ambitious wish on my list is for a quick economic recovery for our state and nation. Until then I could really use a Nikon S60 Touch Screen in crimson red.
Christmas
Reader Comments (4)
You're a wise woman, Mayor. Forget the Christmas brouhaha. Don't worry about any mojo depletion. What matters this year (and certainly in years past) is the state of your family union. If you've got a good one, you've got nothing to worry about, says Confucius me. A roof, food and electricity = a blessed family. If you've got all 3, all is well.
Lawyer Mom, I can tell we think a like in many ways. You are so right, the state of our family relationship wise is very good. If you'd ever like to escape to a winter wonderland haul yourselves up here and I'll keep your martini glass brimming, bellies full, and our Big Black Beast could give Mr M a run for his money.
I'm checking the flight schedule for next year! Martinis. Yumm. And Mr. M wants your dog in a bad way, man.
butt uglies ended up with sea ugly monkeys---leave nothing unattended as mayor will throw it out, although her garbage selections are right on the $$$