NO Ice cream, please!
Friday, July 4, 2008 at 01:03PM My husband likes to buy fine things. He is generous to a fault and can definitely get carried away in sentimentality. That's why I cringe whenever he heads off to the mall by himself...It can only mean on thing, hello Williams-Sonoma. He's a sucker for an enthusiastic sales demonstrator.
Upon hearing the exciting news that our best friends were going to be grandparents his brain slipped into Rob think. He wanted to present them with a meaningful gift for their cottage. He was so excited and pleased with himself when he came home with not one, but two Ice Cream Makers. He also bought them the cutest little ceramic sundae dishes. I was not pleased. (You are probably thinking, this gal must be an uber bitch, my husband would never put an ounce of brain power towards figuring out a gift for the soon to be grandparents.)
Let me enlighten you. Making high quality home made ice cream is an expensive, time consuming, labor intensive proposition that takes planning, forethought and a dose of luck for it to all come together just right. Read between the lines here people. (It's a major pain in the ass.)You cannot just pop that baby out of the box, throw in your ingredients and plug it in.Everything must be prepped, the machine prepared and the mixing bowl frozen for hours ahead of time. Using the finest ingredients, you must make the mixture ahead of time and make sure it is thoroughly chilled.
The day for our dinner date with our friends had arrived. We would present them with this glorious way to bond with their grandchild-to-be by taking our machine along to demonstrate the art of ice cream making. So we trucked it all over there, the machine, cooked and chilled custard like base mix, pre frozen mixer bowl and various other yummy things to add in. I also took along a home made blueberry pie.
We made a big production requiring audience participation, letting the children all "help" pouring the mix in, turning it on. It was quite a noisy thing so we moved it to the laundry room and let it do it's magic. We all anticipated eating the heavenly stuff in a few short hours and proceeded to have a delicious dinner. An hour later I walked into the ice cream making room to find a frozen, gelatinous mess in a malfunctioning machine. To no avail could I bring the $20 worth of premium ingredients (we're talking organic cream, free range eggs, gourmet imported vanilla, you get my drift) back to life in edible ice cream form. I was embarrassed and quite aggravated with my husband at this point. After they opened their (now suspect) gift, we ate our blueberry pie bare naked, and left with our tail tucked between our legs.
Believe me when I say that ice cream maker will never see the light of day on my kitchen counter again. Ever. I don't want to incriminate myself should this ever come up say, in divorce court....but trust me when I say they'll never find that sucker no matter how long they look. I have not given it much thought the past year until today. The new Williams-Sonoma catalogue arrived. My husband can't wait to go to his new favorite place, Detroit's Eastern Market to buy a big load of fresh peaches to make....you guessed it! Ice cream.
Today, I am busy practicing my dumb blond act, getting it down to a science. It goes something like this: I walk around the house for a respectably long time, with a perplexed looked on my face, my blue eyes very wide, muttering things like, "I wonder what on earth WE did with that thing? I can't believe I can't find it. Did we lend it to someone? Do you think one of the kids took it over a friend's house?"
Reader Comments (3)
so that's the explanation for the missing sea monkeys!!
What sea monkeys? (exactly)
Ms. Mayor,
You are hysterical! Just saw your blog for the time and need to say a few things. (Of course!)
First just for the record - I have not and will not EVER wear a thong EXCEPT for the one place they belong - ON YOUR FEET!!!
Forget panty lines. Seriously at our age NO ONE is looking at our BUTTS!!!
Second, the ice cream maker. That was a fun gift! We hope to bring it out when Avery is old enough to make his own. Storage is a problem. What did you do with yours?!?
Actually Stephanie and Brad got into it and made some great ice cream flavors before moving to NYC. We expecially like anything with liquer in it...
Sad that at our age we get only a taste. Well, okay, unless it has Kahlua in it in which case I ask for the big glass!
How often do you think you will post? I really loved the mosquito killing. Poor Dee. She inherited your extremly sensitive skin. Keep her away from three leafed plants. I hear that poison ivy is monstrous this year as well. As in it won't just make you itchy it could KILL you...
Love and miss you!!! Are you ever coming up here?!?
Kathy