SassTown

There are more mosquitoes around here than you can shake a stick at. This summer is turning out to be exceptionally wet and the bugs are propagating at warp speed. For me, that is very bad news. Most people are not terrorized by the sight of mosquitoes  buzzing around. A typical reaction might be annoyance, contempt, a desire to swat at them. Whenever I detect these spawn of Satan I go on a state of full alert, I am talking code red all the way baby. I harbor a complete and extreme hatred for the little bastards.

For some mysterious reason the simple mosquito bite tends to result in a dermatological emergency for me. Depending on the size and might of the offending devil, a bite will erupt into a sizable rock hard welt that will torturously itch for at least a week if not longer. It will disrupt my sleep (not hard to do) and probably my sex life too.

I don't know my own strength when mosquitoes are around. Yesterday my youngest child walked into the room with one of those filthy bloodsuckers attached to her head, blissfully drinking her blood, possibly transmitting some awful disease. WHAM, it was  a totally reflexive action. I obliterated the pest but I unfortunately also knocked my daughter into Sunday. Collateral damage. She blinked, balanced herself and said, "Good eye mom, I didn't know I had one on me!"

Now I know that seems a bit warped, thanking your mother for assaulting you. But since she seems to have inherited the propensity to suffer unbearably from the simple mosquito bite, her reaction is completely understandable. You see pain and bruising we can handle, it's just the damn ITCHING that we can't stand.