Monday
Sep082008
Dirty Little Secret
Monday, September 8, 2008 at 11:06PM
I am about to divulge a dirty little secret for a SAHM of middle age. I like to drive fast. Let me clarify myself. I like to drive fast under the right conditions, like when the weather is good, the freeway is not too busy, and I have miles of open road beckoning me. Any of my teenage drivers will confirm I don’t condone speeding while driving in town and never in neighborhoods. Over the years I have driven lots and lots of highway miles, often solo or as the only adult. I love a good road trip (if it’s good it means there are no fussing children in the car.) I have one more confession, I like to drive fast but I am a terrible passenger. I get nausea in the back seat, seem to be unable to sleep in the car, and often make startled hissing noises if I am the least bit nervous. By the year 2000, I had 6 kids and had been driving some type of mini van or SUV for more than a decade, more often than not full of noise producing bodies of various sizes. At this point I can’t remember the circumstances, but I was having some fun fantasizing about driving a sleek vehicle that didn’t have room for too many kids at one time.
That was during an era when IBM stock was soaring and we had some disposable income. I shopped around and found the typical second class treatment reserved for females with a couple babies in tow. One memorable stop was the Land Rover dealer on Woodward Avenue in the metro Detroit area. The paunchy balding middle aged salesman reluctantly answered my questions, making me wait several times while I held on to a squirming toddler. I was never so happy as when my precious daughter leaned over and promptly threw up all over the showroom floor next to the shiny vehicle. Little did he know that while he was doing his happy dance as I left the dealership, I was taking my amply funded check book with me.
So I proceeded on with my research and came up with one of Car and Driver’s top picks for the year:
The Audi A6 2.7T Quatro. It was midnight blue with tan leather seats and a sun roof. It boasted a fashion forward design and had incredible handling. I drove that thing off of the dealer’s lot quicker than you can say french toast, fully paid for. It was quite a feat for a soccer mom who often wore a slight scent of baby vomit. I was also deluded into thinking men were hitting on me when in reality they wanted to know more about my car. One day I was stopped in our church parking lot by a very large good looking fellow asking about the features of my new found love. Later on when I pointed out the big guy who was “hitting on” me to a friend and she let me know I had my first close up conversation with the Detroit Lion’s new half back. To say it was an escape mechanism for me would be a severe understatement.
Time moves on and I am sad to say that I am no longer driving that Audi A6, but it is still in the family, humming along with 140,000 miles on it. Not only that, it still LOOKS GOOD and drives fantastically. My only son inherited the car several years back and has maintained it impeccably. It’s seen it’s share of excitement, including being stolen and beaten up. A few months ago the boy and I had the occasion to make a road trip to Chicago. He drove there and I drove home. Usually returning home from a fun trip is such a drag... let’s just say my growing fondness for NASCAR racing has given me a lot of driving inspiration.
That was during an era when IBM stock was soaring and we had some disposable income. I shopped around and found the typical second class treatment reserved for females with a couple babies in tow. One memorable stop was the Land Rover dealer on Woodward Avenue in the metro Detroit area. The paunchy balding middle aged salesman reluctantly answered my questions, making me wait several times while I held on to a squirming toddler. I was never so happy as when my precious daughter leaned over and promptly threw up all over the showroom floor next to the shiny vehicle. Little did he know that while he was doing his happy dance as I left the dealership, I was taking my amply funded check book with me.
So I proceeded on with my research and came up with one of Car and Driver’s top picks for the year:
The Audi A6 2.7T Quatro. It was midnight blue with tan leather seats and a sun roof. It boasted a fashion forward design and had incredible handling. I drove that thing off of the dealer’s lot quicker than you can say french toast, fully paid for. It was quite a feat for a soccer mom who often wore a slight scent of baby vomit. I was also deluded into thinking men were hitting on me when in reality they wanted to know more about my car. One day I was stopped in our church parking lot by a very large good looking fellow asking about the features of my new found love. Later on when I pointed out the big guy who was “hitting on” me to a friend and she let me know I had my first close up conversation with the Detroit Lion’s new half back. To say it was an escape mechanism for me would be a severe understatement.
Time moves on and I am sad to say that I am no longer driving that Audi A6, but it is still in the family, humming along with 140,000 miles on it. Not only that, it still LOOKS GOOD and drives fantastically. My only son inherited the car several years back and has maintained it impeccably. It’s seen it’s share of excitement, including being stolen and beaten up. A few months ago the boy and I had the occasion to make a road trip to Chicago. He drove there and I drove home. Usually returning home from a fun trip is such a drag... let’s just say my growing fondness for NASCAR racing has given me a lot of driving inspiration.
Reader Comments (1)
Startled hissing noises? More like freak out the driver so badly that they actually cause a car accident noises.