Dirty Talk
Monday, March 23, 2009 at 09:42PM There are two things I won’t tolerate in this household.
1. Racism
2. Constipation
Eat your bran muffin and judge people according to the content of their character (and definitely not by the characteristics of their bowel movements).
We did not discuss bowel habits in my family of origin. Imagine my shock when my husband’s family gave way too much information on their daily “goings”. And had the nerve to ask me about mine??? What the hey to say the least. I don’t EVER recall my mother asking me about the state of my bowels. I certainly had no intention of discussing that with anyone else.
It’s not really polite to ask someone about the regularity, color,
consistency, buoyancy, nor odor of their products of elimination. Well, the exception to that might be a chuckle between friends about the speed at which asparagus causes that unique smell in urine that occurs after you’ve both eaten
it for lunch.
Then I became a registered nurse. And I still never got used to discussing people’s bowel habits. Specializing in Labor & Delivery the color, consistency and odor of someone’s amniotic fluid was usually the pressing
issue. I learned to professionally interview people about personal things but I still don’t go around asking
my girlfriends how it went in the bathroom for them. 
Little did I know I would spend a good chunk of my adulthood explaining meconium (a newborn’s first dark sticky poop that’s been prenatally brewing), baby’s normal crapping habits, toilet training and that appalling habit some toddler’s dabble in (finger painting with the poo in their diapers).
Six kids and a few decades later I don’t have to discuss my bowel habits nor anyone else’s on a regular basis. Since about kindergarten my kids have pretty much been on their own with their poo. It seems to suit all of us just fine. Once in a while a remedial lesson on bathroom hygiene is in order and an occasional “who didn’t flush the toilet and NOW THE DOG’S EATING IT”???occurs. I’m basically done with my concern about poo. At least until I have to go get one of those ridiculous colonoscopies.
Racism? Hey, I’m not God, Jesus or a Master of the Universe and I don’t have the answer to the world’s issues with it. I am one human being and all I can do is control my own behavior, work on my own heart and try to set a good example for those who are within my sphere of influence.
I think one thing that is adding daily to the angst in our country is the confusion between racism and political correctness. It’s very confusing for today’s youth being exposed to such a wide variety of information portals with often conflicting views. I often can’t sort it out myself as an adult with an education and years of experience to give myself a solid point of reference. How can we expect the passionate but naive youth of our day to know what to think? CNN or MTv. We all want to be liked, accepted and for others to find us engaging or humorous.
Every time we click on the television we are bombarded with media documentation and criticism of our public officials and celebrities demonstrating various degrees of imperfect judgement. Sometimes it is not even that. Watching the replay and commentary after President Obama’s presence on Jay Leno’s couch last weekend 
left me just wanting to turn off all current media outlets and start exclusively watching DVD’s of classic movies.
Whether I agree that it is appropriate for a sitting United States President to be on Jay’s couch or not, I don’t think it’s humanly possible for anyone to have every single syllable analyzed and to not have someone find it offensive and not to their liking.I’m saying, “ENOUGH ALREADY”. Can’t we just give each other a break? Instead of waiting to pounce on every person who is of a different race, age, sexual or political persuasion than us for a perceived offense, let’s just give each other the benefit of the doubt. Is that just not common sense and common courtesy?
I may not agree with your beliefs, your religion, your politics, your diet, breast or bottle or anything about your lifestyle but that doesn’t mean I won’t like you. If we have a chance to meet in person, or read each other’s thoughts written in a blog, I’ll make an effort to view you with an open mind and heart and believe me when I say I don’t think of myself as being superior to you. I may or may not like you, or I may think you are really boring (but then I won’t be reading for too long). I just might really enjoy you, appreciate you, learn from you, have fun with you, contribute something beneficial to you and (gasp) get along with you despite of diverging beliefs or frames of reference.
Take the HBO program Big Love. I don't approve of polygamy, can't really understand how it makes practical sense and view it as a conceptual illustration of an extreme sect of Mormanism. I'm fascinated and intrigued by the characters, the story and find myself looking for common threads of personality I can connect with. I feel saddened by how this family is ostracized in the community and how the children are made fun of in school. That doesn't mean I think polygamy should be legalized but I would never approve of my kids making fun of children in that situation. Or that I wouldn't be welcoming and interested if Mrs. Henrickson came knocking on my door.
Getting along and being considerate does not mean we HAVE to agree on everything (or anything). It’s not a crime, a faux pas or a sign of mental deficiency if you don’t support the party in charge this time around. If you can’t be slow to take offense you are not going to be a very interesting individual. Or very fun. Or funny. I know what is in my heart and if I have to measure every word I say, I am going to end up being pretty silent, definitely very boring and who would want to hear or read that? Doesn't blog writing, by definition need to be a trasparent ongoing dialogue in which we all try to keep it real? If I take offense at every misconception or misperception I hear or read (especially concerning me or an opinion or belief I hold) I will end up being very limited in what I can entertain myself with.
What is that famous line? Oh yeah. Everyone Poops
And I don’t want to discuss it.
Reader Comments (5)
I love this post and I, too, hate that people want to tear down others as soon as words or actions are done. Makes me sick.
Sigh........I guess we just try to do our best and teach our kids as best as we can.
Oh my holy heavens mother hen. This post was so much more than just for shits and giggles. :)
Brilliant.
And oh, so right.
As the unreligious mom of ostensibly Jewish kids growing up in the Bible belt, I'm really tired of having to defend myself (and them).
A religious "friend" once told me that, if she didn't know I wasn't religious, she would have thought I was a good person.
Why can't people be judged by what they do and what comes out of their mouths, instead of what book they use as a guide?
As for color: I raised my children to be color-blind. Which led to a VERY embarrassing conversation at the pool one day when they realized that a girl in their class had skin that was much darker than theirs.
The word "melanocyte" doesn't mean much to a four year old. But I tried.
It even came up tonight during Obama's press conference (race, I mean, not poop). A reporter wanted to know if Obama's race had "come up in meetings" "influenced how he was received by world leaders," or had otherwise been a factor in his first few days in the fishbowl. Although the question was fair -- given Obama's atty general declaring we are "a nation of cowards" -- I think the rest of us have moved on.
Now I'm off to look up melanocyte.
Funny post - and yet very good points!!! Also, thank you for the comment on my blog. I'm so sorry about your niece -- how awful that the court had to be involved, wow, that seems ridiculous. I hope that their nightmare gets resolved soon.