SassTown

Just when you thought it was safe to surf the blogosphere, I'm back...

Traveling has it’s ups and downs. Sometimes the downs can be so overwhelming you almost don’t want to go but I was determined to pull this complicated trip off. I like road tripping best, but that of course is not always practical if there’s a lot of miles involved and a limited time frame. My travels began with a road trip to Chicago, then to air tripping on to Austin, TX . From there I’m boarding another plane to Dallas to attend an emergency summit meeting with a few fellow bloggers  (you all know and love) to start solving some of the problems our government can’t seem to get a handle on.

First of all, being from Detroit where sadly there is no such thing as mass transit I was overjoyed at my experience getting from downtown Chicago out to O’Hare early this morning for $2.25 versus a $40 cab ride.

True, I did have to schlep an overstuffed carry on suitcase, a computer bag and my large purse down the cement stairs to the underworld CTA blue line stop. Tried to purchase my ticket with a credit card, which is a no no. Luckily a kind soul gave me change for my $20  bill so I could buy my $2 trip to the airport.

40 minutes later I arrived at the last stop, O’Hare. I did’t find the TSA people as much fun at the Chicago ORD as they are in Detroit DTW or as Asheville AVL, airports I’m more familiar with. But after I got by Ms. Crankypants the rest of security check through was fine.

Don't scenes like this make you FEEL so safe when flying?

On the plane,they gate checked our carry ons, which I would later find out was a gigantic blessing. I proceeded to Austin on an unremarkable flight except for the 1 year old who screamed like a banshee the first and last 20 minutes. Since I’ve been there and done that with a baby many times I try to send some compassion to the poor mother.

Safely arrived in Austin I freshen up, grab a latte and wait for my next flight. People watching helped pass the time, I saw some strange specimens. I really would have liked to unobtrusively snapped some pictures but my hands we full with all my stuff. Plus, I’m not sure how the Texans feel about crazy tourists photographing them.

I suspected I was in trouble when I found a SW gate attendant to check me in and get me a boarding pass. They both  apologetically kept saying how I could have checked in online. I assured them I was familiar with that and that I usually do roll that way but my daughter didn’t have a printer to print a boarding pass. No problem, we’ll get you set up. They continued to emphasize how I should remember for next time to check in even if I can’t print my boarding pass.

Can you say "moo"?

Yeah, I got that message. So I continue waiting good-naturedly, I might add, for my flight. Then they explained the boarding procedure and how you have to board by your number. Oh, and there are no assigned seats. Well. The clincher was my number was C27. So, after waiting for people with A 1-60 to be lined up in chutes like cattle, then waited to group B 1-60 to be loaded up, finally it was my turn. Me and the 3 people behind me. Now the fun is going to start.

I clamor on to the plane, checking again, yes it’s true, there are no assigned seats so if you find one grab it. Oh, yeah, and your bag, the overheads are filling up so take the first spot for that thing that you see. Holy shit. Now I know I’m in trouble because I’m 5 ft 1 1/2 inches and I’ve got to haul this very heavy bag over my head and shove it into a compartment I can’t really reach.

Luckily the gentleman in line behind me gave me some assistance. Only my bag did not want to go. Over stuffing was the culprit. Quickly I remove one bulky item and carry it. My bag goes in and I’m not looking forward to trying to get it out of that place that it’s currently wedged into. Now to find a seat. Looks like my choice is next to a very heavy lady with a cane. Or between 2 very tall, muscular young gentlemen.
Worn out jean clad legs spread out in V.

I make myself as small as possible and squeeze between the two of them. We mumble a few words to each other, they give a few more grunts about a football game and off to sleep they both go for the hour long flight to Dallas. As they relax their long legged V’s ease into my leg space until they are forming a complete W over my short little stumpy legs. I don’t let it affect me.

I have a son their age and am accustomed to being overwhelmed by the size of college aged boys. The one with the dark hair ever so slightly has drifted to the right until his head is slightly onto my seat. Then over until it barely touches my shoulder. I think of them as big oversized baby boys and keep reading my book. Before you know it they are doing the prepare for landing mumbo jumbo. Both young men sort of shake off their nap, sit up straighter but still keep their long legs V’d into my space.

Upon landing, I boldly bartered their use of my “space” in our row to ask them to get my bag out of the overhead compartment for me. No problem. As Mayor I have developed some wicked negotiating skills.

Out into the Texas sunshine I went. So this is what it feels like to wander around without a coat in December. It was time to officially begin the emergency bloggers summit that was only to last a mere 24 hours. I spotted my ride right away despite the fact that we’d never met face to face. I had a description including the make, model and color of her car and being from Detroit I have special powers to detect the minute design details that separate a Lexus from a Nissan.

Within 5 minutes of meeting my hostess who so generously opened her home to our small meeting, I knew that we would like each other in person as we do online. Nothing like running a few errands together to increase bonding. Did you ever have the chance to see the Tequila isle at a Texas liquor store? I  had no idea there were so many varieties, brands and flavors of the Mexican liquor.

Once we arrived to our clandestine meeting place I was absolutely tickled to be sitting around a backyard POOL, sipping a beverage and threatening to take a dip in said pool to the horror of my Texan comrades. You see folks from Michigan will get in a pool in just about any weather once they are south of the Mason-Dixon line. It was only our very tight schedule that kept me from taking the plunge.

Mayor to the left, plaid to the right, here I am stuck in the middle with you.

I’d love to spill the details of our summit which we all agreed would take part on the down low, you know the vow of “what happens in Dallas stays in Dallas”.  Consequently the only photographic evidence I can share with you is this most interesting shot of Moi, thoroughly enjoying a delicious Lemon Drop martini at a local steak house. As bloggers will do we couldn’t help noticing the plaid pair sitting near us. First individually, then corporately imagining all the possible scenarios as to how this couple arrived to dinner in their fetching (almost matching) plaid button down shirts.

That night I wisely checked in online for my flight back to Austin to begin part II of my Christmas trip. After a leisurely morning spent over coffee, conversation and home baked cinnamon rolls  we reluctantly said our good byes. I was deposited at the airport by my delightful companion and started another travel day with anticipation and just a tiny bit of anxiety. I made a quick stop outside of the Southwest terminal to pick up my boarding pass (for which I had registered the night before).

I was number A 28. Score.

Stay tuned for Part II & III of my travel log.