SassTown

Last month the whole Sasstown crew headed to Austin to spend time with family there. My 18 year old traveled separately and met up us after we had been there a few days. We had a lively conversation at dinner, anticipating what her arrival would be like. Because we never know what to expect.

You see we are all secretly (who am I kidding it’s not a secret) afraid of her. She can be really mean.


I blame it on her dramatic birth in the back of our Dodge minivan. Or on the unfortunate incident that occurred on my watch when she was 12 months old (fell down the stairs, broken femur). Spending 6 weeks in a body cast will do weird things to your personality. It’s unfortunate but true.

This girl has mood swings like no other. One moment she is talking faster than a speeding bullet, the next she is brazenly bossing one of us  around. Then she blows. All in her own self obsessed universe. It’s kind of like living with a hurricane...enjoy the peace of the eye...because it’s a temporary respite.

We decided to figure out exactly how weird Austin really is and the only way to do that is by foot.

She had borrowed her sisters new ankle boots that day because wearing them just made her feel...absolutely bitchin’. Strolling the downtown streets of Austin in a herd. Exploring for hours. Moving fast. Covering ground. Late in the cool December afternoon we landed at the Halcyon-Coffee-Bar-Lounge, a very nifty place on W. 4th.

Some of us opted for lattes and some of us decided it was late enough to start a true happy hour. It was artsy, friendly and warm inside. I’m a sucker for interior brick walls with art. Beverages were savored and someone wasn't getting enough sympathy for her boo boos.

It was decided that no matter how cool Halcyon was, she needed to put a little space between herself and her people.  After asking the friendly bartender/latte maker for a few band aids (remember the cute boots...) she took her seething self outside to self soothe. While tending her now raw bleeding toes while sitting on the cement curb this understated interaction took place.

Homeless Guy: Wow, that looks painful. Are you OK?

Hurricane: Yeah, I walked way too far in my sister’s boots (shrugging her head in the direction of our group inside). Look at this mess.

Homeless Guy:  I lost my toenail on Monday. It was gross. I slept in the garage over there for a few days so I wouldn’t have to deal with anybody.

Hurricane:  Sounds good to me. Sorry about that. Want a band-aid? I can go inside and get more.

Homeless Guy: Nah. But can I have a couple bucks, go get myself a sandwich?

Hurricane:  Sorry Dude, I’m broke. You can have this, flipping him a quarter.

You just never know. The funny thing about her is when she's bad, she's very very bad. And when she's good she is AWESOME. She took charge of her Texas cousins little kids. She took charge of serving dinner to our group of 20. She took charge of her cousins new Great Dane puppy.

playing with Claire

putting Zak to sleep

Hula Hut with her big bro

with her sisters at Hey Cupcake

We were really quite shocked at how long we were able to vacate together with minimal drama. My husband and I thought, "maybe she really is maturing". She totally went out her way everyday to be helpful. That is so weird. I tucked her on a plane back to Detroit and met up with her at home a few days later.

Opened the mail and now I know what we observed was kissing up big time. $175 moving violation committed by hers truly. You got some splaining to do missy.