Self Control In A Sea Of Choices
Friday, March 26, 2010 at 04:02PM 
I recently got a great deal at Target on a new flat screen for the bedroom when our old clunky set gave up the ghost. I was surprised at all of the extra channels available on the HD capable sets. Unlike my college days when we used to arrange our class schedules so we could be home to watch General Hospital during the Demi Moore, Luke & Laura craze,I’m usually doing other things while I “watch” something on the telly. TV makes most domestic tasks more interesting, nes pas?
Having school age children meant that we spent a lot of time watching Animal Planet. It was entertaining and educational and for a long period of time was channel they could all agree on. Steve Erwin came exploded into our homes teaching us all more than we ever needed to know about those amazing Crocs. And snakes. And spiders and all things animal the outback had to offer. Overall there was a good message delivered in an interesting format.
It used to be a safe bet that we could watch Animal Planet without having to see a Viagra commercial and explain the famous 4 hour erection. It got to the point where the DVR was totally full of every episode of Animal Cops ever shown. My attempts to erase shows were met with protest. Plus Shark Week had to be saved, it was a special program. Now that they are all teens my DVR is full of every episode of One Tree Hill.
Recently I joined my 13 year old and 7 year old neighbor while they were watching Animal Planet. It was a fascinating story about Emma the giant eel living her life off the coast of Thailand and a diver Matt who had befriended her and tamed her by feeding her sausages when he frolicked in the watery playground with her. It struck me as not a great idea looking at the ancient looking choppers on that gal.
From the kitchen (getting us all some popcorn) I heard the sound of shrieking. The girls were now horrified as they watched very clearly as Matt couldn’t get the sausage out of the bag fast enough so Emma clamped on to his hand and would not let go. Soon the water was clouded with blood and we all heard the sickening POP of Emma the eel biting Matt’s thumb clean off of his hand.
Holy cow. The narrator went on to emphasis the further danger all of the blood in the water posed as they were in shark infested waters. It was like a traffic accident, we just couldn’t look away even though we didn’t really want to see it. Matt survived and the surgeons in Thailand operated to remove one of his toes and attach it where his thumb had once been (before Emma munched it down).
On another night as we watched I’m Alive I knew after the overly long and sentimental introduction that someone was not surviving the black bear attack they were about to re-inact. We were drawn to the segment about a family that lived in the Smoky Mountains, where we had just returned from visiting my father. The woman gives this long drawn out portrayal of her 10 year old daughter.
Frolicking in the waterfall with my daughter
Sure enough, in the kind of mountain waterfall setting we enjoy every year, the woman and her kids are attacked by a black bear to the horror of several other families. The mother is critically injured and grateful the other hikers were able to get her children to safety and summon help for her....only to find out her daughter Alura was missing and eventually found dead by the rangers. She had wandered off chasing butterflies in her bathing suit and was attacked by the same rogue bear that attacked her mother.
If I wasn’t already having nightmares, seeing a small portion of The Monster Inside Me about did me in. It explored a story about a young man with parasites multiplying and “eating his brain” inside his skull. At least I had the sense to turn that one off. No wonder kids have a hard time going to sleep at night when everything offered up for their viewing gets more suspenseful each year.
I realized Animal Planet season line up is becoming more and more sensational in it’s programming: I’m Alive, I Survived, The Monster Inside Me, River Monsters, Untamed & Uncut and Weird, True & Freaky. It’s like Animal Fear Porn feeding an ever growing appetite for the scary or gross. I guess if it doesn’t scare the sh** out of us it’s not worth watching.
When we can lay on our couch flipping through hundreds of channels, there is no expectation of using our brains to make a conscience decision of how we are going to spend our time we’ve allotted to TV viewing. Like most of the technology it can be used for good or for evil. It is the obligation of the human being in us to use some discretion on what we are choosing to view.
Better yet, Spring can come to stay so we can all get out of the cabin and spend sometime frolicking in the woods behind our house. I’ve assured my youngest there are absolutely no black bears living back there, just the usual bunnies and deer (hopefully none of them rabid with parasites causing them to attack us in our hammock).
Come on, Let's get them before they get us
Animal Planet, Bizarre TV
Reader Comments (5)
hey, life in nature is brutish and short. And unpleasant.
I am really beginning to think that most TV is just porn of one form or another. Especially in politics, nobody shows the thoughtful, reasoned, two-sided discussion, ever. It's always the absolutes extremes and crazies on both sides.
I think you have outdone yourself with this post. Very thought-provoking. Thanks!
animals make me go whatever ew. t bag drank the peta juice. he is convinced people skin animals alive to create fur coats.
I love not having cable sometimes. helps me filter out all the crap.
Last night I watched a segment on Sixty Minutes about some South African guy who is out to prove that the Great White Sharks are friendly creatures who are just curious. He swims with them without a cage. And pets them. And I'm just wondering how long before one of them eats him.