I Want A Lover Who Won't Drive Me Crazy
Thursday, April 7, 2011 at 12:20AM 
Picture me, years ago, driving down I-96 in Detroit in my cherry red Lincoln Navigator with my son and his friend Johnny. The CD changer flips to the CD they had put in there while waxing my car earlier in the day. On comes a vile song, the most consistent lyric starting with the word F*^#. Without warning I deftly pressed eject, popped it out, rolled down the window and gave it a toss.
<----Johnny
The boys were aghast. “That was Tom’s CD”! Then Johnny came on with the zinger, “ It’s not like you don’t listen to pornographic music Mrs. Nault, what do you think Jack & Diane is all about”? I insisted it was about two American kids growing up in the heartland, not necessarily teenage sex. Maybe heavy petting but...
It was 1996 and the debate raged on between Johnny and me, he insists the little story ‘bout Jack & Diane is all about teenage sex. Is this proof that I’ve spent way too much time with John Mellencamp playing?
Way back in the day he went by the name of Johnny Cougar. My childhood friend spent many years traveling as a roadie with the band. That was a wild bunch and my friend ended up needing a liver transplant 2 years ago due to all their hard living on the road.
John developed his persona along the way these past few decades. He’s aging well, can still command the stage and he’s tweaked most of his old songs. You know, life goes on...long after the thrill of living is gone...walk on. So they rock and they roll, let the bible belt come and save my soul. Hold on to 16 as long as you can, changes come around real soon make us women and men.
Last Saturday I was pecking through the weekend news and saw the old man would be playing in Austin that very night. We splurged on tickets, floor seats in the very cozy Austin City Limits Moody Theatre.
We rolled ourselves into town and went to Second Bar & Kitchen to get the pump primed for the concert. A very stiff Gin & Jam got me fired up for the night. We walked on down to the W Hotel, up the side stairs to the theatre.
It’s a cool set up with an open balcony running along the side of the entry doors. The wall was punctuated with it’s very own Tito’s Bar, lines already 10 deep. The theatre was cozy, it didn't look like there was a bad seat in the house. I found my seat, on the floor towards the back. The chair was comfy but the rows were pretty snug.Servers even came around to take drink orders.
It was definitely a mixed crowd age wise. Seated in front of me to my right was a middle aged menopausal woman.She looked like she was ready for fun as pulled one of those oriental looking fans from her purse and commenced to fan herself the whole night. I guess she really likes John.
The only time this woman sat was before the concert started
Now I like to have fun as much as the next person. Mellencamp kicked off the night with some classics and the crowd was on their feet. The row was so snug that when I stood up my hip bones hit the chair in front of me, and I'm on the petite side. When the show shifted to some of the newer, slower songs, most everyone sat down.
Make that everyone except the lady seated between me and the stage. I paid a premium for our seats, on the floor, to not be able to see a thing unless I was standing up? About half way through the concert, after my telepathic signals I sent to her (saying sit down) were totally ignored I got pretty frustrated. My Redneck blood just about got the best of me.
I casually unscrewed the top off of my water bottle, cocked my arm back and took aim for the back of her head. Years of practice with a sling shot have left me with excellent aim. Just as I was about to fire one off, my husband had the sense to snatch my ammunition right out of my hand.
Thwarted, I stomped off to stand against the back wall to enjoy the rest of the concert.
There is definitely a more spiritual side to John showing up in his new music. God, regret and wisdom seems to be of more importance to him now.Overall, it was fun. He didn't play enough classic Mellencamp to suit me. I especially missed "I Want A Lover Who Won't Drive Me Crazy", which has been my theme song off and on during 30 years of marriage.
And he still has a heafull of his crazy hair.
Austin, Entertainment, Joh Mellencamp, temper tantrum
Reader Comments (6)
Great posting
Your son's friend picked Jack and Diane as an objectionable song??? Jack and Diane seems totally innocent to me: they're just doing the best that they can.
I saw him in Clemson, S.C., 25-years ago. (Gah, that makes me sound old.) And he really put on a great show.
Have to agree with your son about Jack and Diane. What do you think they were doing in the backseat?!
first...love the fact that you didn't even give it a second thought before you chucked that cd out the window.
second...j&d is about sex (he's taking off her bobby brooks slacks to do what he pleases) HOWEVER i don't think it is in your face like so much of the music is now.
third...though it was the grown up thing to do, i hate that your husband stopped you from chucking the water at the stand up lady. sheesh!
fourth...john (regardless of what he calls himself) is awesome, even though i've never seen him in concert.
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