SassTown

The frigid Chicago wind blew me in as I opened  the door of Bin 36. I walked  through the wine bar scanning for my query and I spotted her right away. Still tall and lanky, dark headed, subtly classy and graceful. I strode over and drummed my fingers on the tinny bar top. Instant smiles and hugs. She had ordered a Cosmo, I went for a glass of the house red. We chatted a few minutes as our grown sons arrived and scooted up to the bar.

My experienced lice picking eyes spotted a white speck in her otherwise very dark hair. Naturally I just leaned over and plucked the offending fuzz out of her hair. Right away the Prince is shocked, “ you haven’t seen her in 20 years and you’re picking her head like a mother gorilla?”  He continued, asking both of us, “don’t you think that’s a little weird?”

We just looked at each other and cracked up. It should have been odd, but it wasn’t. We were the kind of comfortable neighborhood friends who always had each others back. Peas and carrots. She’s the only thing I missed when we moved away from Chicago. And it was oh so good to share a table with her once again.

Andra & the son who is not a doctor

Ryan, no stranger to fun, tolerated my lick your mother commands

Trio of terror when they were wee tots

When my husband moved me to Chicago in the late 80’s for a climb up the corporate ladder, I was a reluctant participant. I had 3 little babies under the age of 6 and I had just lost my best friend (my mom) to breast cancer. It was the lowest point in my life. I was raw emotionally and functioning like a zombie.

It was a sunny, beautiful day when we pulled into our new neighborhood and stopped in front of our large (in my eyes) new home. I did what many crazy young mothers would do. I burst out in tears (and I am not a crier), “ I don’t want to live here with a bunch of rich snobs.”  I have to admit I fought liking anything about our job transfer. But I am, if nothing else, a practical puss. School was starting in one week and I had to deal. So, I did.

Swansway turned out to be, by far the most kickin’ neighborhood I have ever lived in.We lived, loved, fought, cock tailed, birthday partied and had pick up basketball games in each other's driveways. When we were selling our house 3 years later I remember telling buyers, “you may find hundreds of homes around here as nice, or nicer than this one, but you will not find a better bunch of neighbors.” And I can honestly say all of my 8 neighborhoods since then have been a disappointment. I’m still looking for a place that compares.

Andra comes from a big Greek family and her husband Mike was from a big Irish gang. I was fascinated by them. We had children around the same ages and we all clicked. Even Raymondo, who tends to be an introvert, couldn’t resist their magnetic pull. We were willingly sucked into their ethnic gregariousness and enjoyed every minute of it. We traded kids, recipes, ideas, secrets. When having to run out to do a preschool pick up we’d drop off the handset of the baby monitor so we would’t have to wake up napping wee ones. That’s trust!

I think I learned the art of hospitality from this friend of mine. She’s an intuitive cook capable of hosting large gatherings with amazing food. Yet she could make a party on the spot with a couple cans of tuna fish, bread and salad out of nothing. I was always so jealous she could dress a salad perfectly by shaking in some red wine vinegar, olive oil, salt and pepper. I’m still making several of her family recipes on a regular basis, and now my grown kids are repeating the process.

One night, after having had a couples night out for dinner, Andra called to announce she was in labor. We shared a history of having a baby born at home. Armed with a fancy camera and their video camera, I recorded their only daughter’s birth. Let me tell you this tall Greek knew how to get down to business when it came to birthing babies! A few hours later I was back at home in bed basking in the nuance that only comes with the smell of amniotic fluid, blood and a newborn’s cry. (Sorry if that is too graphic for some of you weenies).

A few years after our move from the Chicago area,we met up to go on a trip to California together for an extended weekend. It was March and the weather was dreary and drizzly. Not exactly what you travel to the west coast for.

We  spent one morning out in the weather at the San Diego Zoo. This is where my husband received his nick name of Rain man. He doesn’t always play well with others, forever wandering around to the beat of his own drummer. After losing him several times, Andra’s husband Mike (who is funny let me tell you) saddled him with that moniker and it’s pretty much stuck and gotten shortened to Ray and transitioned into Raymondo, in honor of the popular Tom Cruise/Dustin Hoffman movie Rain Man.

Mike was probably fantasizing being Tom Cruise while imagining my husband in the role of Ray. After 2 days we gave up and drove to Palm Springs to spend a few days in sunny desert warmth.

Thanks to the wonders of social media we have reconnected some 20 years later. You may be wondering why, if we were such similar peas in a pod, we didn’t do a better job staying in touch?

The things that we had in common got in the way of that, I’d have to say. We expanded our families since then, she has 4 boys and 1 girl. I have 5 girls and 1 boy. Both being creative, ambitious and strong women, we share having the role of being the rock of our families. That job description is all encompassing in the time and energy department and leaves time for little else. If you are the rock in your family, you know exactly what I mean.

Do we look like rocks? I assure you, we are

When your bosom buddy is not readily available at the whisper in a phone or a baby monitor... you cope and life goes on.  Considering our age, I think we’re both still smokin’ hot. After as many babies as we have had no one could blame us if we had gone to fat or taken to padding around in house dresses and slippers.

It’s given me a gift to rekindle my love for this woman. I’m flooded with memories I didn’t even remember I had.  Yet, you know how it is when you look someone else in the face and you recognize the look of pain buried deep in the eyes? The economy of the Midwest in particular, and life in general has taken a toll on the both of us. I know it without even asking. The older I get, the more I recognize that no matter how perfect someone’s life looks, I guarantee you it isn’t. Everyone has their stuff to deal with.

Later that night, cleaning up the kitchen at the pimp pad, my son had some astute observations. He was truly amazed that his old buddy’s mother and I  would still have so much in common after all these years. We have been traveling a similar and parallel path. Finally, he met another peer’s mother who is so fiercely connected to their adult children, without being overbearing. “My God Mom, she’s just like you! She likes to hang out, and you can see they like hanging out with her too! She just mans up and hops the train to Chicago on a whim, exactly the same thing you’ve been known to do.”

It’s true. Two woman whose paths crossed a couple decades ago.

I do declare the conversation between us has just begun again.

The holiday season was complicated this year. That's what happens when your family grows up and children take on their adult obligations in various places that different from home base. It took a lot of thinking outside the box to accommodate our desire to spend time together during the holiday season.

The Pastry Chef & The Prince

So our first stop this year was Chicago where our first three work and live. My daughter, who is an assistant pastry chef, made arrangements for us to have a cozy family dinner (if you can consider 8 boisterous people a cozy group) at the restaurant where she's employed.

Meat flight

I was a fan of the Bin 36 restaurant group before she was hired there last year. I had been there several times on visits to Chicago, mostly sampling their vast wine and cheese selections that sets them apart from other fantastic Chicago establishments. One of the charms about this place is the various sections where different styles of gathering and dining are available.

Cheese flight

The baby is now 12 and having 3 teens to deal with daily has just about done me in. On the other hand it's wonderful to be able to go out as a group with a reasonable expectation of having everyone be mature enough to really enjoy each other out in the public arena...without too much fuss.

Well, I guess there will always be a certain amount of fuss with our group. We are not a very sedate bunch so places like Bin 36 are a fantastic forum for us to enjoy sophisticated dining in a situation that's casual and not the least bit stuffy.

For us, it's a win-win.

We began our evening with Champagne and a flight of meats and cheeses. It took a bit of coaxing to get everyone to have a nibble of some of the unfamiliar tasty tidbits set before us. Despite that signal, deeply ingrained inside me from years of parenthood, to move the show along before any big mishap occurs we were all able to relax and savor the experience.

Make no mistake, after years of parental gorilla warfare, I was the one who had the most difficulty relaxing sufficiently to appreciate the moment. Bin's vast wine selection helped me achieve my goal.

After being plied with vino, meats, cheeses and the like we decided to share some of our entrees. The staff accommodated us bringing out our entrees split and beautifully presented.

Peppercorn Crusted Blue Marlin

NY Strip with Shiraz-Shallot Butter

Bin 36 Burger (Tavern Menu)

The minute the youngest left to visit the restroom we all had to fight over a bite of the baby's burger despite having sampled our way through delicacies and sophisticated entrees. We just love to provoke her scorn. We all agreed the burger was fantastic.

When it comes to saving room for the important stuff we know how to roll. Desserts are important stuff. Especially when they include all house made delights such as gelatto & ice cream sandwiches to the more complex Crispy Brioche with Pumpkin Zabaglione, Gingerbread with apple salad and concord grape grainita.It seems that my gang was so excited by the desserts presented that we suffered a photographic failure (to take the picture before you take a bite because you never know what your crazy mother will use for her blog).

This little cutie (Sweet Potato Donuts with Marshmellow Ice Cream) was the only thing left unscathed when I returned from my brief pastry kitchen tour. Bin 36's king of the pastry department, Chef Tom is a delight to visit with and possesses the unique ability to be personable yet a creative stickler for detail in the items that roll out of his kitchen.

We almost made it through the night without anyone getting out of hand. The only criticism came by a few of my spawn complaining "enough with the camera already." I do admit to blatantly following a particular server around trying to get a picture on the downlow to prove he is Justin Timberlake's doppelganger. I did reign myself in enough to stop before asking to have my picture made with him. You know you have reached an important goal when you have a lovely evening out with your family and the only person causing any kind of a fuss is you.

Much appreciated mama lovin'

 And I owe it all to you....What woman hasn't fantasized about being the female that leaps into Patrick Swayze's waiting ripping with muscles arms?

I have been a long standing fan of Patrick Swayze and feeling so sad that one of the few celebrities I truly liked has passed away. My favorite movies of his include Dirty Dancing, Ghost, The Outsiders,Red Dawn and not to be forgotten his movie debut as a cross dresser: Too Wong Foo.

Can any of us forget the squeeze we felt in our heart as Johnny charges over to the table and reaches for her saying, "Nobody puts baby in the corner"?

At our house every eye in the house can't resist stopping whatever they are doing to watch this climactic scene.

About a year after this movie and the music became popular my cousin Jim returned from the Navy to marry his sweetheart Alicia. They shocked us all at the reception when the dj put the famous song on and they danced and sung to each other for their first dance. Of course they didn't do the infamous lift at the end, even though the bride was an itty bitty thing. I suppose she could have jumped on his back and rode him around like a spider moneky on the dance floor but that may not have looked so good in a wedding dress.

Later on during my travels to North Carolina I visited the resort area of Lake Lure, North Carolina to learn about the filming process they used to make the movie in this idyllic mountain paradise.

Turns out the filming there wasn't ideal, it was very rainy and as a result delays occurred. Hollywood used a lot of local talent to help fill in the cast. Many of the dancers we saw humping their way though the movie were local theatre students.

I read recently that the town of Lake Lure was holding an honorary memorial service to celebrate Mr. Swayze's contribution to the area.

My vote for the most truly sensuous scene would have to be the pottery scene in Ghost with Demi Moore. I loved the chemistry between this pair not to mention their interaction with Whoppi Goldberg in this movie.

By the time Swayze made this film he had fully developed that mature manned sized muscled body that had females all over the globe swooning.

One of the sweetest things I observed in recent years was when Swayze surprised guests on Oprah who were practicing to use the famous dance from Dirty Dancing as their first dance in their wedding. Onto the stage walks THE MAN that none of the mere mortal grooms could ever compare to. The audience went wild and Swayze took a few of the future brides through those famous steps right there on Oprah's set. It was very touching.

When Swayze's new series The Beast began filming in Chicago 18 months ago my daughter had just moved from NYC to Chicago so there was a lot of buzz about the show, his cancer, their plans for the series. There were a lot of sightings around Chicago of Swayze and his wife. When it debuted on TV I watched intently but I never did warm up to the show. The characters didn't grow on me and it seemed that there never was an explanation of the back story to make the viewers feel like they knew who to root for. I guess that is all moot now.

From the Mayor's household we all say God Bless You Patrick Swayze and may you rest in peace.

Or The Wily Temptress does Chicago with a gang young enough to be her children. Oh, wait, they are her children: 

The female chatter in the car helped the drive to the windy city pass quickly. All the way from Detroit in 3 1/2 hours to sitting on the freeway for 35 minutes only 5 miles from our destination. The secret to doing a quick weekend away is to leave by noon and arrive in time to settle in and prepare to get the most out of your 2 nights away.

That means food and your pre-night on the town cocktails. Being the practical woman I am, I had drug all of the ingredients for dinner in my cooler. It wasn't mommy benevolence that motivated me to plan ahead. I didn't need ESP to know my daughter would slink in from a week of travel for work and need to be revived if she were to be any good to us at all.

Chicken breasts were thrown on the grill and pasta was quickly made with an overpriced but yummy jar of Williams-Sonama's Creamy Florentine Sauce. Some of those good old North Carolina tomatoes were sliced up, seasoned and we had a fantastic meal to go along with our our sassy margaritas. We sipped and people watched from the second floor balcony fabricating stories about the people passing by.

Feeling refreshed we spilled out onto the sidewalk in the cool night air and off we went to find fun in the Fulton Market District. And I assure you there is plenty of fun to be found there. We ventured deeper into the Meat Packing district to the children's favorite low key hang out, The Fulton Lounge.

Justin, a gorgeous young man welcomed us at the door and asked for ID. "Surely you don't need mine young man." I do believe he was flirting with me when he said, "Missy, that most definitely means you too." He said it in such a sincere way that I took a liking to him right there on the spot. He smoothly chatted us to the perfect area in the lounge for our group of 6.

The lounge is situated in a hundred year old building, a former book binding factory just a few blocks north of restaurant row on Randolph making it a perfect place for before or after dinner drinks. Even though the space is urban and expansive it's thoughtfully furnished to provide a low key vibe, totally sophisticated but not pretentious in any way. Music plays in an unobtrusive way and the staff is attentive without taking over the show.

I like a place that knows it's mission and sticks to it. I'd surmise there objective is to have an environment that's conducive to intimate conversation and cocktailing within the community. I had a hard time choosing from their unique martini menu but I went with the Fulton Essence. It was made with Sky Melon Vodka, watermelon elixir, home made sour and fresh lime. The night was off to a great start.

I was reluctant to leave as soon as we did but I had given control of our travels over to the locals. Next thing I knew they popped us all in a Taxi to head over to the River North District's hot spot of the evening, Zed 451. I moaned a bit about not staying in their neighborhood so we could walk around instead of paying cab fare and they were all, "don't worry mom we'll get the Zed bus to take us home." I know when my leg is being pulled but I just let it go because I was determined to milk every drop of enjoyment out of the evening.

When I'm wrong I say I'm wrong. Zed 451 had a wonderful mojo going on. It was energizing but not overwhelming with a constant flow of different groups coming and going on their way to somewhere else.We ordered up a plate of Spicy Chicken Empanadas with dipping sauce. They were a great taste bud tease arriving piping hot and crispy.

The bartenders know how to handle themselves and keep things moving which really is a feat when you observe them making their specialty cocktails.

They have a a juicer built into the bar where as quick as a wink they'll have whatever fresh juice needed for your selection squeezed into their magic mix and served up in a perfectly chilled glass.

I was sorely tempted by our friendly bartender to try the Blueberry Thyme martini, but I had already committed to trying the Kiwi Basil Martini.  As he chatted with my daughter I realized he was retelling the incident that had occurred the weekend before when another visitor of my daughters got involved in some loud drama with her jerky boyfriend.

We piled back out into the lovely summer night air and was about to suggest we do a little city strolling. But  what to my wondering eyes does appear? There really is a Zed bus, willing and able to drive us back to the apartment. It felt totally decadent to be carted home in our very own bus.

We offered to bring our driver down some freshly baked banana bread and a couple of North Carolina tomatoes but he thought I was just being polite. I guess he doesn't read Sasstown or he'd know I don't say things I don't mean and I really appreciated the Free Ride.

Which led me to think about that old Edgar Winter song, Free Ride. Click hear to see the psychedelic You Tube of the official 70's party song. We were a little delirious by this time since we had all been up since dawn to make this trip happen to celebrate my sister in law's 65th birthday. The night was topped off at home with a crazy little dance party. A week later and I'm still recovering.

Alternative titles: How to Blitz Chicago In 48 Hours. How To Spend Quality Time With Adult Children.

Day 1:

1. Pick up new car from Ford dealer at 3:30 p.m.
2. Drive like a bat out of hell to try and make it to Chicago before the Wings game starts.
3. Arrive to the West Loop apartment at 7:40 p.m.
4. Wow doorman with my new ride, unload car and park in deck lot.
5. Greet my Smart Cookie daughter.
6. Saunter over to Vivo for a fantastic meal (chargrilled asparagus with shaved parmesan, shrimp/basil linguine and a fillet to split) and outstanding bottle of Zinfandel). It's a sure bet for a nice meal in a swanky setting on Randolph Street.
7. Stumble down Randolph back to apartment.
8. Check out Conan O’Brian in his new role as host of the Tonight Show.
9. Fall asleep relatively early(1 a.m.) since all had put in a full day.

Day 2:

1. Answer the phone at 5:30 a.m. when my baby calls from home while getting ready for school (6:30 a.m. in Michigan).
2. Tell her “have a good day but DON’T CALL BACK UNLESS SOMEONE IS BLEEDING”.
3. Return to sleep.
4. Arise, slip on exercise clothes and go for a brisk walk on my own, hitting Starbucks on the way home.

5. Exclaim how the same latte I get in Michigan for $3. 60 is $4.07 here.

6. Meet up with the 2 adult children and decide to go out loafering about, shopping and lunching for the afternoon.

7. Walking along the river, appreciating the boats and architecture.

8. Stop by the University Of Chicago Graduate Business School book store for a license plate holder for my new car. I figure I ought to get as much milage as I can out of having my first born in one of the most prestigious MBA programs (even though her employer, not parents are paying for it).

9. Have a very tasty lunch before shopping.

10. Boring my son to death while uncharacteristically spending over an hour in Anthropology.

11. Being out voted on walking home so we crowd into a cab.

12. Being made fun of for my Justin Timberlake ring tone (it’s the baby calling, schools over for the day, “when are you coming home”)?

13. Handing the phone off so she can talk to her older sister.

14. Strewing shopping bags and putting feet up while enjoying the Chicago skyline view out of her 26th floor apartment window.

15. Freshening up for our night out, “lets see how much of a ruckus we can raise” blitz of the Fulton River District neighborhood.

16. Phone call from lawyer who now has my cell phone due to it being left in cab, rendezvous options discussed.
17. Stroll over to Carnivale around 5 p.m. Their web site is definitely worth perusing. Bold neuvo Latino cuisine and wildness abounds, just not at 5 p.m.

18. Patio, overlooking Fulton Ave and I-94, tres (3) margaritas, ceviche (tuna tiradito) which featured tuna, jimica, serrano chile and avacado( delicioso) were consumed for about an hour and a half while waiting on previously mentioned lawyer who has my phone to call us. Watching the street we couldn’t help notice when a wine distributor pulled up with a trunk full of vino in a space pack type set up. I guessed he was Czechoslovakian. I then had to sit through a mini lecture (from my smart cookie who majored in Russian and Eastern European History at University of Michigan) on how that is a misnomer. You can be Czech or Slovac, not both. So he was Slovac, very mysterious in his behavior I thought. We made fun of the waiters we had with their super short ties which looked utterly retarded.

19. Bathroom at Carnivale. It’s way too early in the evening to have a crowd but they have a restroom attendant in there, which is something that really creeps me out in a bathroom with no other patrons peeing. I also have learned to budget every dollar in this recession/Michigan depression thing so I don’t want to pay a buck to use the potty when I’m paying a premium price already for my drinks and appetizers.

20. Daughter in the meantime has met up with phone nabbing lawyer. Turns out he was a little socially inept in face to face communication, but I am grateful he grabbed the wayward cell phone out of the taxi and went out of his way to get it back to me.

21. $160 later we sashay ourselves down Fulton Ave into the Fulton Market district to do a little bar hopping. Do guys sashay? I don’t want to misrepresent the prince. He accompanied us on our sashay and it was a beautiful evening.

22. Upon exiting the restaurant I spied an Audi RS4 parked out front for exactly what it is: a undisputed example of automotive heroin. 0-60 in 4.5 seconds, it’s stupidly fast. To quote The Truth About Cars, “Audi has used every trick in the playbook to get the RS4 to handle near perfectly. There are not enough superlatives to properly describe the vulgar joy of an RS4”. I got the Smart Cookie (aka Princess #1) to lick it. I asked the Prince to lick it but he’s tired of my shenanigans and refused to cooperate.

23. On to Publican we went. This place just fascinated me from the moment we walked to it. First of all it’s on the edge of the West Loop, a neighborhood still a bit sparse and on the gritty side. We decided to make a pit stop at their unique bathroom set up. Tall, solid wood doors open to each private compartment. Once you are done with your business you exit and wash your hands at a circular troth type set up.
24. On entry into the restaurant proper we were ushered to these VERY PRACTICAL tall round tables that featured hooks for your purse (or pocketbook for you southern belles) and a shelf underneath for anything else you might be toting (like a sweater). How cool is that ???? Then our cute waitress introduced me to their bar area specialty, #1 was oysters to which I said “ no thank you”. Then she went on about how they featured ham at this smoke house type venue in the meatpacking district of Chicago. Did you say HAM?

I love ham. No kidding. I just endured weird ceviche (with sushi grade tuna slices instead of all diced up) at our last stop. I was so excited, I’ll take the HAM sampler and a vodka/soda. Turns out this establishment is owned by the chefs of renowned West Loop restaurants Avec and Mockingbird. I was disappointed by the razor thin sliced ham when I was expecting a southern style slab of moist ham. We ate it anyway and I was accused of annoying the snot out of everyone with my picture taking.

25. Last stop for the night was La Sardine, across from Harpo studios, for a night cap. Only I did not need a night cap, I was way past my middle aged drinking capacity for the evening. I inquired about a Chocolate martini, but they didn’t do them here. What kind of a place did you bring me to? I ordered some water and my companions insisted on ordering the famous Le Queue de Boeuf (braised oxtails with potato gnocchi). After a long wait it arrived to our place at the dark polished wood bar and it struck me as HILARIOUS. I have no idea why, but I laughed so hard at the mini sized bowl of yumminess that I couldn’t even operate the camera.

26. Begrudgingly we called it a night. Smart Cookie had a whole day of class in the morning and I had a Saturday evening plan I had to be home in time for. Did I say how great it is to just be able to WALK home after a night out?

27. The next morning we all made it out of the apartment on time. I started my mad dash of a drive home. I have to admit I was zipping along the Indiana Tollway (seriously, are we really to believe the speed limit is 55?) Third car in a pack of 4 we were cruising 75-80 when we came around a curve to the left to see a State Trooper. My heart sunk and I slowed down and got in the middle lane and sure enough here he comes with lights flashing. He pulled over the pickup that was at the head of my pack and then made these funny hand signals to some of the other cars to pull over. He can’t possibly mean me, can he? I motor on while silently practicing my dumb blond stay at home mom act in case another trooper is called to catch up with me. Slick on some plum brandy lipstick with a top coat of Philosophy Kiss Me lip gloss, change my CD to some cheerful contemporary christian music and I’m as ready as I’ll ever be.

28. Stop holding my breath when I cross the Michigan border. Stop at Culver’s at exit 32 for a bathroom break and some root beer. Pry the really pretty but dead as a doornail bird out of my front bumper with my nail file (then threw it all away) so my girls won’t have kittens when I pull into the drive way in 2 hours.

29. Give about 5 seconds of thought to back tracking to take a picture of a highway directional sign that advertised “VIP lounge & massage” for a truck stop. That’s got to be a good blog story right there, but I’m too focused on my mission to turn around.

30. After one slight traffic back up I pull into my driveway on schedule and promptly unload my bags into my house because that is just the way I like to operate. It's about 3:45 p.m.

That my friends, is how it is done.