Cards Disrupted

This post is dedicated to my beautiful cousin Denise, who passed away April 15, 2009 after a 13 year long battle with Lymphoma. She was one tough cookie whose absence has left a definite hole in my heart. I have no idea why she was so cooperative for this picture I took of her and her nephew Michael last Thanksgiving, but I'm glad that she was.

The original version labeled, “Thursday is for Cards” was written about a year ago entirely at the Apple store (while getting much needed tutoring for my blog). I had no idea how accurate the last paragraph would be in reference to our routine being disrupted so soon. The last time I spoke with Denise was when visiting her in the hospital. The last thing she said to me was, “See you next week at cards”.

Here is my original story about my wickedly fun family members:

Maintaining family ties is something I take seriously. Although I grew up with only one stinky brother, my mom had 8 siblings providing me with about 40 cousins in my extended family. 5 of the sisters formed a particularly tight knit group that stood the test of time through every joy and every measure of grief that comes to a family over a generation. They were not a demonstrative group. Not big on hugging, didn’t end every conversation with “I love you” but there was no doubt that they did, with a fierceness and loyalty that came from growing up poor in Detroit after the Depression.

I believe one effective tool in keeping in touch is to have a standing date, something you commit to doing on a frequent basis. My aunts all played cards weekly. Poker was their game and friday was their night. Generally men were rarely allowed to play. They usually didn’t get their game on until 9 or 10 p.m. after kids were settled for the night. It wasn't unusal for the games to end in the wee hours of the morning. Many a drive home was made with the sun coming up. Being daughters of this band of sisters we were definitely inclined to follow in their footsteps.

Every thursday I meet up with my aunt and my band of cousins to play cards. It’s a commitment I rarely miss and we all relentlessly rag on any member that misses a play date. I have lived long enough to value the time spent with this gang of mine, no matter how mundane the activity. We share DNA, have our “short speak” and private code words which we can use in public to converse and insult people without them realizing it. Besides that, we have fun and inevitably laugh until our sides are aching. And we are not even drinking!

We have played cards together on an irregular basis for ages but the past year we have been meeting on thursday mornings in my cousin’s cozy place. My aunt is the ring leader. She entertains us with all the stories of the McVicar sister’s (including my mother’s) antics growing up in Detroit. My aunt is the only person from her generation of the large McVicar family still living. One day I’ll enlighten you with some of her racier tales. The bonus at Tina’s place is there are no men, no kids and sometimes we play all bloody day long if we feel like it.

I rarely win. Blame it on my non-competitive constitution or maybe it’s just my state of befuddlement I sometimes find myself in. I am not very strategic. All I can really say is thank you to Michigan’s crappy economy and GM’s lay offs for giving us this opportunity and freedom to enjoy each other.

Eventually things will happen to disrupt our sacred schedule and I’ll miss not sharing tea, sweets and card playing with these women who have become even more precious to me. But because we all come from a long line of loyal, stubborn Scottish blood we will find a way to keep meeting although it may be a little less often.