SassTown

Jack ‘s Gone Rogue (Again)

Who knew motherhood and quasi-government operatives had such similar qualifications?

He never eats, drinks nor sleeps. We’ve never seen him exercise or lift weights or go to continuing spy education. Come to think of it I can’t recall a bathroom break, a shower or  a shave. Of course the whole season is supposed to represent 24 hours of one kind of national security crisis or another so I guess in an extreme situation it’s plausible to never eat or sleep.

Hells bells, as a mother of 6 I’ve gone many of seasons with very little sleep or sustanance for days at a time, not to mention during the newborn eras showering, toothbrushing and potty breaks are almost impossible to come by. Shaving your legs...well what’s the point?

 Season 8 Cast-NYC location

I got my Jack is Back fix on. Something totally out of Jack’s character happened Monday, he shot an unarmed woman (although she was a lethal Russian spy) point blank.  That’s a leap out of the typical Jack storyline. I watched him run for his life, scramble around a warehouse floor dodging bullets, on the ground doing the soldier crawl. I got to thinking, how does he stay in good enough physical shape for all of these shenanigans.

I do think they have raised the bar this season over last, but I have a feeling Jack’s time on TV may be coming to an end. Freddie Prince has helped revive the man candy factor but Chloe put in charge of CTU...no veteran viewer  is going to buy that. I adore Chloe but the constant pouting would a very undesirable trait in a CTU director.

 

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Patrick Always Pleases

Sunday night didn’t go so well around here. Three teens PMS-ing, it was high drama. More so than usual. The senior freaking out over her imminent AP  Stats exam. It probably doesn’t help that I remind her every day that passing the exam would save us $1000 in college credit.

Then came a migraine for Sydney. Up at 2:30 for medication. Followed by the Hurricane’s alarm at 3:30 for her to get more study time in. Only, she pushed the snooze 4 times. 4. times. Then the youngest got up early to shower. I was exhausted by the time they all got out the door at 7:05 a.m.

I read my Bible, said some prayers and may have closed my eyes for a few minutes. I popped back up and hit the floor running to make up for lost time. I accomplished my list at warp speed. All that intensity wore me out so I decided to do something indulgent that afternoon and was able to stream a movie on Netflix.

What to my wondering eyes did I see, good old Patrick Swayze in his drag queen role in Too Fong Woo,Thanks For Everything, Julie Newmar.My world had to pause long enough to watch the movie from start to finish.

 

What more can you ask for in a movie than muscular men in drag, and big city folk learning to appreciate small town back woods types and visa versa. Good moral to the story and all that. Plus, it  just puts a smile on my face. How could such a hunk of a man be such a beautiful drag queen?

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Harry on Idol

I have a tiny confession to make: I think I may have become a real Harry Conick Jr fan. Move over Justin Timberlake. It started at Blissdom with a private concert for us bloggers.

Then there he was at the NASCAR opener at Daytona this year, all suited up as a driver lending his name to the sport all the intellectuals love to make fun of. Thank you Harry.

But tonight, he sealed the deal by transforming the often ho-hum American Idol into a spectacular event. It’s not unusual for the celebrity coach to come on there, offer a little guidance and throw out a load of platitudes to each of the contestants they are suppose to be coaching. If you ever heard Little Mama blather on as a judge on America’s Best Dance Crew you know what I’m talking about.

He honestly and charmingly brought out the best in each contestant, offering them honest advice, arranging their music and accompanying each of them along with the band. He bantered with Ellen and even influenced Simon to act like he swallowed a nice pill.

I just wish I would have realized how awesome he was before I was within 20 feet of him last winter at our Blissdom concert. I would have strived to get more bang for my buck out of that opportunity.

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On a final and sad note, Opryland resort (sight of the Blissdom 2010 Conference) has succumbed to the recent Nashville floods and much of it is underwater. Send your thoughts and prayers that it will be restored even better than it was before.

We were out of the blocks by 7 a.m. since my daughter has a make up test from her migraine day. I had tried to organize myself to make the most of my day so I made a conscious decision to go straight to the grocery store and be able to get home and line up my tasks for the day.

How on earth does one spend $300 Krogering when I'm not even having Thanksgiving dinner at my house this year? What I am having is most of my Chicago gang coming home for the weekend so we have to have plenty of eats and plenty of drinks for the visit. Then again we are having a soiree here on Saturday, so I had to stock up for that too.

This would explain a portion of this mornings bill. I also had to buy supplies necessary to make appetizers for our party. I was intrigued by the Hypnotic, so $25 for a martini experiment came into play. I was checking out by 8 a.m. trying to bribe the cashier to come home to unload my groceries. I promised her participation in my martini experiment, I had her right in the palm of my hand but the boss wouldn't let her leave the store.

Home again home again jiggity jag. Unload groceries, check email, review pertinent articles in real estate news, take a few calls, continue laundry duty bleh, blip some tunes on blip.fm. Which of course leads to some good exercise music. Squats and a lot of dancing around the house pretending I'm Shakira. I figure I might as well get my hand weights out and swing those suckers around a bit. One more thing off of the list, I just need to turn this up a little LOUDER because I have the house to myself.

Of course one thought leads to another. Why am I plowing through my to do list when I could be reveling in my aloneness? It's my last night. Tomorrow the teenies will be home from school and I can force them into kitchen prep and all kinds of slave labor. I am going to watch the last 30 minutes of Too Wong Foo (it's so true only the good die young I miss you Patrick Swayze) while I tweak my Blip.fm play list.

I find some inspiration in my latest Timbaland addition. If you're a veteran reader of this blog you may recall that I consider Justin Timberlake my main man. There's just no help for it, especially after he inspired my most sought after fledging blog post Bringing Sexy Back. But what you might not know is my ongoing fantasy life preoccupation with Justins favorite music producer turned star himself, Timbaland. He's like a musical genius of a pit bull up there on stage. Where as Justin is all long and lanky, with all the energetic moves when performing, Timbaland is just this hunkering solid mass of pure muscle all compacted and surging with raw power.

 The clock is ticking on my shenanigans time. I don't think it's too early to start my Martini sampling. What kind of a hostess would I be if I served new concoctions I hadn't taken for a test drive?

First up is the Hypno-tini. I've never had a blue drink before but I've always found them visually mesmerizing. 2 oz of Hypnotic check, 1 oz of vodka check, a splash of fresh lemon juice and a twist check check. Shaken up and into the chilled glass she goes.

Wow, is that pretty. And a perfect afternoon beverage by which to watch the end of Too Wong Foo, since Patrick Swayze and Wesley Snipes are all dressed up as drag queens. I forgot how much I enjoyed this movie. I may be one of the 5 people who did, but I think it is really sweet. Patrick plays the do good lady so well. It sort of reminds me of the character of Anne, in Anne of Green Gables. Totally misunderstood but making the world better where ever her life takes her.

My fascination with the blue drink thing is over. I have a policy of not ingesting calories I am not absolutely thrilled with, so the blue drink is down the sink drain. I thought about giving it to the beast, but I don't need 120 pounds of gassy dog unable to take himself out to do his business. You know what I'm saying?

I was feeling all let down in my attempt at misbehavior so I decided to add another variable to my martini experiment. I know it's the OCD tendency, but the Thanksgiving weekend beverage should coordinate with my fall colors for the weekend. I think that calls for the classic Cosmo by way of the martini shaker: 2 oz. Absolute Citron, 1 oz cranberry juice, splash of Cointreau and a twist.

You may wonder, why would a straight laced suburban soccer mom even think of imbibing in martinis when home alone in the afternoon? Have you met my middle child, fondly known as the BOW (bitch on wheels)? Well, after enduring her intensity this past weekend, I assure you this martini I am partaking in is LONG overdue. Even she will back me up on that one. If you can get her to stop oneminuteonherwayfromherfriends because she is so busy with senior year and all. She had to apologize profusely for her episode when when she made me accompany her to her senior picture session even though she did not want any advice on how to dress, do make up, hair or anything else...

Cosmos. It's true, I've made these before so I'm not really justified in "experimenting". WTH! I'm not driving anywhere. The teenies will all roll in soon and I think we are going to take my Christmas DANCE party play list (does not include any Christmas music) on a test drive before the trip to Chicago for our pre-Christmas celebration with the pastry chef daughter who will be working through all holidays.

OMG, this is why I love Patrick Swayze! We have gotten to the part of Too Wong Foo where Patrick, still in his drag queen persona, kicks Stockard Channing's abusive husband's ass! "Virgil, I gather you like hitting ladies"? asks Vida (Swayze). Virgil: " Some ladies need to get hit". Then Patrick (in drag) says, "uh hum, then conversely some men need to be hit back". How can you not love this part??? Vida (Swayze in perfect drag) proceeds to throw that old Virgil on out of the house. Love It!

For those of you who are ignorant of the Too Wong Foo way of life via the movie I have to let you in on the secret. It includes a Charlton Heston/Spartacus like ending where all the townies who have come to love and respect the drag queens come to their defense against the local pervert deputy who comes a calling.

This has been the best afternoon of guilty pleasures in a long while. How can you top dancing to Shakira, Timbaland and Timberlake, blogging, Twittering, sampling martini recipes and re-watching Too Wong Foo chock full of memorable quotes and rules for life? Yesterday I had an extremely busy day of real estate business and came home to another favorite task which was rearranging furniture (seriously my favorite). So even if I didn't slack off it was terribly enjoyable.

The big yellow bus just rolled by, which means this party is over. We have got a list to attend to, but it has been fun. Not quite as much fun as my last birthday, which featured a day to myself that I spent dancing with Justin Timberlake.

Seriously, the LIST is calling and I've got to switch into overdrive so that my minions and I can get through it. Happy Thanksgiving and safe travels to you all.

Dropped Roberto off at the airport at 6:15 a.m. Typically being abruptly pulled out of bed at 5:37 a.m. would leave me in a somewhat cranky mood. Not today though. Right now I marinating in the thought of having my house to myself for 4 days.

Back at home in my kitchen. Alone. With a Starbucks latte, fixin to eat some toast. It doesn't get any better than this.

Toast is the perfect food, especially if made from a loaf from the bakery that you have to slice yourself. Pop it in the Dualit and twist the knob. It's warm buttery goodness lifts me up. Today it's topped with Blackberry jam. Best of all I'm eating right off the bread board, heathen style.

And for God's sake people use real butter. Just like Paula Dean says. Non of the I Can't Believe It's Not Butter crap, nor margarine in a tub of any kind.

You don't have a Dualit toaster, the premium workhorse of an appliance manufactured by hand in the UK? It's one of the few status symbols I have left in my lost all my money in my real estate investments life.

Sold my lakefront properties, the Audi A8, cashed in my 401K but I am not giving up my Dualit toaster. A big old one horned buck just traipsed through my back yard looking to get food out of my bird feeder. Too bad sucker. Papa's away and the mice will play which means I'm not refilling that feeder. It's one of the few things that is not my job around here and I'd like to keep it that way.

Back to my celebratory morning. Enjoying peace and quiet and buttery toast with only one small interruption. I had to wake up my precious 18 year old BOW (bitch on wheels) to send her off to get her hair cut so she can get her senior pictures taken. I weathered her intensity for the few minutes before she rolled out of here and now I'm getting back in the groove.

My husband's trip was just in the nick of time. After 20 years of him being gone at least half the week, most weeks, his new limited travel schedule is KILLING ME. So I'm going to make the most of it. On my schedule after I write this I am going on over to plop on the couch and watch a list of Patrick Swayze movies without interruption. I have not had the means to pay my respects since Swayze's death so I have an appointment with Too Wong Foo, Thanks For Everything Julie Newmar. 

I know a lot of people don't give it high critical acclaim, but I find it fascinating to watch this hunk of man transform into a woman, right down to the mannerisms of the oh so very femme. Of course I'll have to see Ghost, Road House, Dirty Dancing and The Outsiders too.

At 4 p.m. today I'll leave the house with my little darlings for our girls night out to see New Moon. I know it will be perfect, if they could just find a way to kill Bella off because for one she annoys me. Two, she's just not a very good actress. Unfortunately Bella lives on because we've already read all 4 books so I just live in hopes that Kristen Stewart will be hit by a bus crossing Hollywood Blvd stoned out of her mind and they will replace her with someone more fitting.

Yes our should we see it at the midnight showing dilemma played itself out. Backed up with the advice from my favorite medical advisor, The Mother I shared with my little 14 year old migraine sufferer how that really wasn't the best choice for her to make. Even though she earned it. She agreed, but came home from school Thursday saying, "but so many of my friends are going "(as predicted). I held her to the agreement to wait until Saturday and she moped around so severely she ended up waking up twice that night from....a migraine headache!

I placed my absence call to the middle school recorder Friday since the suffering teen lay balled up in her dark room when the bus rolled by. I gave all the required info and added," and NO we did not go to the midnight movie last night". So, to her list of migraine triggers we will add miring in bitterness, as a causative factor.

No worries. We are off in a bit for our movie and dinner out. I'll have to keep you all updated on what other shenanigans I can manage to pull off while reveling in my alone time the next few days.

 And I owe it all to you....What woman hasn't fantasized about being the female that leaps into Patrick Swayze's waiting ripping with muscles arms?

I have been a long standing fan of Patrick Swayze and feeling so sad that one of the few celebrities I truly liked has passed away. My favorite movies of his include Dirty Dancing, Ghost, The Outsiders,Red Dawn and not to be forgotten his movie debut as a cross dresser: Too Wong Foo.

Can any of us forget the squeeze we felt in our heart as Johnny charges over to the table and reaches for her saying, "Nobody puts baby in the corner"?

At our house every eye in the house can't resist stopping whatever they are doing to watch this climactic scene.

About a year after this movie and the music became popular my cousin Jim returned from the Navy to marry his sweetheart Alicia. They shocked us all at the reception when the dj put the famous song on and they danced and sung to each other for their first dance. Of course they didn't do the infamous lift at the end, even though the bride was an itty bitty thing. I suppose she could have jumped on his back and rode him around like a spider moneky on the dance floor but that may not have looked so good in a wedding dress.

 

Later on during my travels to North Carolina I visited the resort area of Lake Lure, North Carolina to learn about the filming process they used to make the movie in this idyllic mountain paradise.

Turns out the filming there wasn't ideal, it was very rainy and as a result delays occurred. Hollywood used a lot of local talent to help fill in the cast. Many of the dancers we saw humping their way though the movie were local theatre students.

I read recently that the town of Lake Lure was holding an honorary memorial service to celebrate Mr. Swayze's contribution to the area.

 

 

My vote for the most truly sensuous scene would have to be the pottery scene in Ghost with Demi Moore. I loved the chemistry between this pair not to mention their interaction with Whoppi Goldberg in this movie.

By the time Swayze made this film he had fully developed that mature manned sized muscled body that had females all over the globe swooning.

One of the sweetest things I observed in recent years was when Swayze surprised guests on Oprah who were practicing to use the famous dance from Dirty Dancing as their first dance in their wedding. Onto the stage walks THE MAN that none of the mere mortal grooms could ever compare to. The audience went wild and Swayze took a few of the future brides through those famous steps right there on Oprah's set. It was very touching.

 

When Swayze's new series The Beast began filming in Chicago 18 months ago my daughter had just moved from NYC to Chicago so there was a lot of buzz about the show, his cancer, their plans for the series. There were a lot of sightings around Chicago of Swayze and his wife. When it debuted on TV I watched intently but I never did warm up to the show. The characters didn't grow on me and it seemed that there never was an explanation of the back story to make the viewers feel like they knew who to root for. I guess that is all moot now.

From the Mayor's household we all say God Bless You Patrick Swayze and may you rest in peace.